#i have other nice video game memories from sophomore year of college...

[bluefuecoco]

one of the reasons xy is my favorite in the series is that I was in my sophomore year of college when it came out, and I remember playing it like crazy with my roommate, and always streetpassing the boys across the hall, and just this feeling of camaraderie that was there was so nice

[creativeashproductions]

Pregnancy Test Roulette // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: As a college student living with your three best friends is the best and even better when they get along with your long-term boyfriend. However, one of your best friends decides to film a video inspired by another tiktok video. You just had to jinx yourself.

Warnings: Swearing, unplanned pregnancy, allusion to abortion (doesn’t use the actual word), college, and reader has a gender-neutral roommate and best friend named Lu.

Words: 2.4k

A/N: This inspired by a video I watched of someone announcing her pregnancy by taking a test with her friends. They each took one and put in a box to shake and hell exploded with the positive, the actual person was aware before the pregnancy roulette

Masterlist

They say your ’20s are your best years and maybe that comes from being able to bounce back from a night out with your friends. A night that turned your memory into episodic moments you could recall and others you had to guess about. Maybe it’s because you’re in the years where you aren’t under lock and key with your parents but not at the point where you’re expected to have a marriage, kids and mortgage.

It was the sweet spot in life. Now you didn’t drink as much as you did your first year, but you did enjoy the odd glass of wine occasionally—a beer with your older brother or a shot with your best friend. But more often than not you were in bliss nestled into your boyfriend’s side watching an old movie with a bucket of popcorn you had argued over who would make. However, Charlie was in Vancouver filming for Julie and the Phantoms leaving you in your house for the upcoming season. The home you shared with your three college friends to save money but not be stifled in dorms.

“I have an idea!” Sophie spoke, sliding into the living room in her thick socks with duckies on them. Her sudden appearance received both Alice and your attention from the movie Bad Moms playing.

Sophie’s recently dyed blue hair concealing her face from you as she flipped the long strands from her hair. Her bright brown eyes glittering with the same happiness that typically exuded from her.

“What’s this idea?”

“Where’s Lu?” Sophie inquired scanning for them in the room, “Did they have a date?”

“Nah, I’m right here Phee,” Lu announced their presence from the kitchen island going over work emails.

Sophie quickly dragged them from the counter to Alice and you on the couch with a box in her hands. Everyone in the room shared a look as the blue-haired girl went into one of her tangents that could continue indefinitely.

“Phee, calm down. What do you want to do?” Lu questioned whereas Alice had leaned forward to grab a look at the box.

“I think the best question is: what does it have to do with the box of pregnancy tests in your hand?” Alice asked flicking her ocean blue eyes at the girl sheepishly looking at the group, “Do you think you’re pregnant?”

“What! No! I thought it would be hilarious to take a test each and put in the box.” Sophie replied, pursing her lips together with a pleading look in her eyes, “Plus I wanna know how you do it…?”

You sighed with a shake of your head, “You saw this on Tiktok. We’re all damn careful at preventative measures. There’s no harm in taking the test. Hand one over.”

Sophie was quick to hand you a test along with the rest of the group before splitting off to the attached bathroom to your master suite room. You hadn’t even fought for the room when you moved in your sophomore year of college. Lu had been quick to announce that as the only one in a relationship Charlie would be over and they didn’t want a show.

The instructions were straight forward enough you had capped the test brought it the hallway to drop in the box held by Sophie. The camera catching everyone as they did so. Lu followed with their test followed by Alice, and you wandered back to your seat in the living room.

“Is there a reason you made us pee on sticks?” You inquired grabbing one of the decorative pillows Alice had bought. It was mostly Alice’s touch that brought the living room together with her minor in interior design.

“I thought it would be fun.” Sophie simply shrugged joining Lu on their couch, leaving Alice back in her seat.

The movie still paused as per Sophie’s request, so no one forgot about the tests waiting to be revealed. You had no clue why it mattered to not forget about them, as you had said before. Everyone had a pact to keep up on contraceptive, hell there’s a box near the hallway filled with condoms. Everyone just added a few to the box if it was lower than twenty squares.

“Okay.” Lu trailed off, clicking their fingers on the phone in their hands. Their attention is easily taken away from the game Sophie wanted.

Sophie was always jumping on trends on Tiktok, a few even before they became real��trends, so this wasn’t anything new. Sophie even had a few viral videos on the app that sometimes took all her attention for a few hours. That being said, you weren’t overly scared about the outcome.

“Ooh, Charamader is calling.” Lu snorted leaning overseeing the cheesy photo of Charlie kissing your cheek. His contact photo in your phone had been taken by Luk as well.

“One moment.” You told Sophie with her wide eyes pointedly staring at the box on the coffee table littered with magazines, “It will be a second!”

Sophie waved you off to the kitchen where you clicked on the green button.

“Hey!” Charlie beamed from the kitchen on the apartment he shared with Owen during filming. His wide eyes crinkled by the grin he wore, “What’s new? How was that exam?”

“I think I did a lot better than I had expected.” You admitted to the Canadian guy brushing the hair away from his face. He had to recut to Luke’s style when filming for the new season happened.

“I told you!” Charlie cheered, flipping his gaze from his phone to the pan he was carefully inspecting, “How lucky am I? My girl is going to graduate with a fancy degree! I’ll be front row when it happens.” 

“Just as I will be right there when you win an Oscar.” You teased your boyfriend as Sophie loudly counted down from the living room. Charlie’s attention was drawn to the trio of your best friends waiting.

“Did I pull you away from something?” Charlie’s brown brows furrowed as he mentally went over the plans you had informed him of.

There wasn’t a single plan he remembered so he relaxed marginally when the fear of missing something faded.

“Sophie’s made us do this video for TikTok. We’re halfway through-“

“Hey Charlie, she’ll call you back. We had pregnancy tests to check!” Sophie interrupted ending the video call with your boyfriend.

Both Charlie and you frantically talking as Sophie ended the call with that bomb and not clarifying further on it. To take it further, the blue-haired beauty pocketed your phone as well to avoid her video being interrupted.

You had no doubt the Canadian actor was freaking the fuck out that you were taking a pregnancy test. If he was spamming your phone, Sophie wasn’t reacting to the vibrating other than to aggressively point over to the couch.

“Just text him,” Sophie grumbled throwing your phone back at you when the line formed between her eyebrows. The frustration of Charlie overcoming her excitement for the video.

“PREGNANCY TEST?” Charlie screamed as soon as you accepted his phone call, “Am I missing something?”

“Sophie wanted to do a video of Alice, Lu, her and I took one. We’re good.” You soothed the ruffled feathers of the male who released a gasp.

“Sophie, you gave me a heart attack. Holy shit, I just about knocked Owen unconscious.” The man in question was speaking, but you couldn’t hear the words he spoke, “What! I thought my girl needed me!”

“I’m Charlie but I won’t if I don’t end the call-“

“We can mute the call.” Charlie interrupted dancing on the balls of his feet with anticipation in his blood even if you had denied being pregnant, “This sounds like-”

“Nice try Gillespie. Y/N will call tomorrow, it’s roomie night.” Lu spoke before ending the call for you just like Sophie had, “AS much as I like the dude, this is getting interesting.”

You simply shared a look with Alice as Sophie expertly stationed the camera to get everyone, Alice was the one to shake the box again. Each of you was given a test to hold with snickers falling from lips. Lu’s hand ran through the recently chopped hair while Alice repositioned her body on the floor.

“Okay…one, two, three.” Sophie calmly spoke before flipping her test around. Everyone followed suit.

“Negative.” You informed the group. Lu was quick to announce the negative in her hand.

Sophie simply shook her head before everyone turned to Alice, “Alice?”

 The brunette pixie-haired girl stared at the test before she lunged for the box, “What’s a positive?”

“Why-“

“The test is positive!” Alice snapped shakily reading the instructions as she gripped the test in her hand. Her lips mouthed the words she read with a speed that greatly impressed you.

Everyone was huddled around her after Sophie had ended the video in pure shock, reading the test that very much said positive. Your lips parted in stunned silence sitting back on your heels just as Sophie did.

“Who’s test is it?!” Sophie exclaimed roughly running her hand over her face, “Holy shit.”

“Not mine.” Lu informed the group with a nervous smile on their face, “The last person I was with was Susan from Statistics.”

That left three people.

“Eliminate the options.” You breathed looking at Alice, “Wasn’t the last guy you were with a few weeks ago? Jas or something from-“

“Jasper from my Mythology course, but that was like four months ago! I’ve been swamped with classes and work.” Alice spoke with a small smile, “He was terrific. I should see if he’d like to grab a- “

“Not the time Alice!” Sophie screeched frantically looking around the room, “Oh my god, what about you?”

Sophie’s eyes came down on you with a pleading look in her eyes at this very sudden twist on her once innocent game. Your mind went over the last few months, but you were blanking at every opportunity.

“I can’t. Shit. I need to call Charlie.” You grumbled tapping the screen of the phone, “Alice, can you go grab a box of tests from the store? We used all of them.”

“-grab as many as possible!” Sophie cried, shaking in her slippers and cosy clothing. This was not how she had expected the night to go.

“I thought it was roomie night.” Charlie spoke as soon as the phone connected, “Something wrong?”

“When was the last night we had sex?” You inquired, leaving the man in Canada to choke on his beer.

In Vancouver sharing a beer with Owen with a film that had interested the pair playing Charlie hadn’t expected your call. Owen barely blinked at the interruption when the movie was fascinating, but he did turn when he heard Charlie choke.

“W-what?” Charlie coughed wiping his chin with the back of his hand, “Is this some weird part of a card game-“

“Charlie, when was the last time we had-“

“Jesus, I stayed the night before we left for the airport two months ago? We had a quickie in the bathroom at the airport as well.” Charlie scrunched his face recalling the lack of time he had been physical with you. His face turning red with Owen’s full attention on the flustered Canadian actor.

“Everything good?” Owen asked his best friend but only received a wave off.

“You sound scared. Is everything okay?” Charlie now demanded while your lips parted to ask if it was possible the condoms you used broke. The frantic breathing of Alice interrupted you, however.

Your e/c eyes found the pixie-haired girl leaned over, catching her breath with the box in her hands. Without thinking, your phone fell from your fingers as you lunged to the box with three tests. Alice had thought ahead and bought a box each for you and Sophie.

“Sophie’s waiting in the living room. Lu’s got her.” Alice softly told you both deaf to the two males on the phone, “I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you, Alice.” You choked marching into the bathroom, “If it’s me…I-“

 “If you’re the one pregnant, then this baby will be blessed if you decide to continue the pregnancy. If you don’t, I’m right here for you. If you’re not pregnant, we can do a couple shots.” Alice squeezed your hands unintentionally, sending Charlie into a frantic moment once more.

Your feet stopped suddenly remembering you hadn’t hung up the phone with Charlie, “Fuck.”

Alice, already reading the situation, tossed your phone to you with a smile as she sat on your bed. With a thankful one sent back, you entered the bathroom with your thumb, clicking the FaceTime button.

“This is the second time!” Charlie exclaimed scanning the background for one of your roommates, “I thought you weren’t pregnant!”

“So did I! Until one of four tests turned out positive, and now I have three more tests I need to pee on!” You exclaimed, “I jinxed us! I literally said how all of us are so good keeping up with preventative measures!”

“Apparently not as well.” Owen spoke, shoving his head over Charlie’s shoulder to see you with his kind smile, “Can you take three slow but deep breaths for me?”

With a few words coaching your breathing, you calmed down enough to mute the call and turn the phone to the ceiling for your privacy. Once the toilet was flushed, tests capped waiting on the counter, and your hands washed, you turned back to the call.

“What’re we gonna do Char?” You sobbed with a deep ache to be in his arms just as he felt the same, “We don’t live together! How can we do this!”

As Owen had led you through the calming breathing, Charlie had dug deep to calm down eternally for you. He found clarity even in the storm of being terrified and somewhat guilty, which he knew was misplaced.

“If you’re pregnant I’ll be there for you. No matter what, I will be there for you. If we keep the baby, we will rock parenting. We have friends and our family.” Charlie soothed you with his pretty hazel eyes glittering at you, “We’ve been together since we were eighteen. We’ve talked about marriage and kids.”

“Should I le-“

“You can stay.” You softly told Owen who squeezed Charlie’s shoulder while you sat in silence with Alice quietly sitting by your side.

Alice’s hand grabbed yours in comfort and support, waiting for the minutes to end and when they did you cried.

Separated in different countries you and Charlie took in the news that there was, in fact, a child on the way. Charlie’s lips parted in glee as he easily read the excitement in your facial expressions amid the fear.

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[masjestickingdom]

Parallel Lives

Pairing: NCT x reader

Genre: Lighthearted, slight fluff, one shot 

Summary: You’re a studious university who’s on summer break, spending your spare moments with your best friend. After a random statement is thrown into the conversation, you and your friend wonder what it’s like to be in NCT’s position. Little do you know that your idols are simultaneously pondering about your position as a normal college student.

Note: Here’s a simple, sweet scenario that I wrote! Even though it’s simple, I really wanted to post this because it’s a nice, exciting thought to have a crossover conversation... Imagine if you were thinking about the same thing at the same time of your favorite idol! Anyway, I also thought it was important to post this to point towards the life experiences everyone has. While this story doesn’t cover every one of those experiences, I think it covers the bigger topics (youth, hate, missing out on experiences, dreams, etc) that I personally think about a lot, so I hope you enjoy! 

______________________________________________________________ 

   As a university student, you have worked your butt off to get good grades and make connections with your professors, upperclassmen, and peers. When you were a high school student, you didn’t care about any of that. In fact, you were the shy one and you got away with it because, hey, it was high school. Fast forward a few years ahead and here you are in the present day, socializing with every human being you could possibly get in touch with. What for, though?

   “For what are we grinding this hard?” you wonder out loud, grabbing your nth piece of chicken.

   Your friend sighs in agreement, spreads out her long legs over the table you both paid for, and rests them adjacent to the boxes of chicken and coke you ordered over half an hour ago.

   Exams are finally over, and you decide to spend the night on the balcony with your roommate, who’s also your best friend, before your two-month internship, which you earned in part to your networking skills. It’s a nice, breezy summer night. It’s one of those nights you want to enjoy in peace and quiet, staring off into the limitless expanse of the dark, but shimmery sky.

   You reach out for another piece of chicken when your friend chuckles at something on her phone.

   “What?” you ask with your mouth nearly full.

   “Nothing, it’s just this really funny meme about NCT,” your friend says with glee. “Very relatable, by the way.”

   NCT, one of the hottest international sensations taking the world by storm alongside living legends, BTS and BlackPink, according to news outlets, is a name you haven’t heard in a while. Personally, you used to be an avid fan since the SMRookies days. You kept up with the appearances they made as trainees in EXO’s EXO 90:2014 series, the cameos in music videos (including the ones in EXO 90:2014), the variety show Mickey Mouse Club, and the videos SM Entertainment would randomly post. As time went on, sadly, the determination to be informed of the latest news withered as your priorities changed upon entering your sophomore year of high school. Sure, you heard news here and there and occasionally checked out their social media accounts, but when you entered college, that was a territory you failed to explore. Other than awards and comebacks, you hadn’t heard much of NCT once you had indulged yourself in your studies, and everyone else around you were doing the same thing.

   It has been quite some time since you were curious about the idols. Your friend’s sudden comment on them resurfaced old fangirl feelings, luring you into an interesting discussion of NCT, idols, and life in general.

   “Another exam to go until graduation, another test to assess loyalty, another test closer to our deathbeds,” you mumble grumpily.

   At the abrupt foul tone that consumed your voice, your friend raised her eyebrows questioningly.

   “And an internship to be a prospect of a permanent employee for some company to work for others--exciting, right?” you said sarcastically before you took a long sip of ice-cold, refreshing coke, which did nothing to restore your mood.

   Understanding what you were getting at, your best friend calmly nodded.

   “They’re living their best lives,” she says, referring to NCT.

   You let a bitter smile form on your lips as memories about mistreatment and mismanagement whiz past your mind. “Or behind the curtains..."

   “They could be just like us,” your friend finishes off. “Tired, overworked, maybe even frustrated.”

   A soft smile overtakes your bitter one. “But probably in a different way.”

   “What would it be like to be an idol?” your friend sighs dreamingly.

   “What would it be like to be a college student?” a silver haired boy ponders aloud.

   His purple haired younger friend, Haechan, who’s grilling meat, replies ambiguously, “Stressful, Yuta. Pretty stressful.”

   “Probably fun too,” green haired Jaehyun chimes in. “Engaging with lots of people the first few weeks of school, trying out different clubs, and finding a way to fit in--that all sounds fun to me.”

   The optimistic boy joins Haechan in the adventure of grilling meat, switching with Taeyong’s position as a meat griller. While the rest of the boys prepare the dining table, placing the setting with kitchen utensils and side dishes being prepared by Taeyong, Doyoung, and Johnny, Yuta admires the busy streets of the city, listening for the distant sounds of cars honking and pedestrians screaming, with the cool night air breezing past his newly dyed hair. It certainly is one of the best ways he and the members could possibly enjoy the rare moments of freedom.

   At the sound of a whistle, Yuta is pulled from his cloud of thoughts, and he looks over his shoulder, nodding to his not-so-secret favorite member of the group at the simple gesture of a hand that urged him to go inside and help bring out the dishes.

   “We’ll never experience the glamor of getting dolled up almost everyday,” you state solemnly.

   “Or have fans,” your friend pitches in.

   “Or see famous celebrities literally every day.”

   “Or experience the trainee days, everyone trying to bring everyone down, or haters trying to drag you out once you gain fame.”

   You throw a strange glance at your friend for that last statement.

   “What?” she says, shrugging nonchalantly. “We need drama in our lives, or else life’s boring.”

   Shaking your head, you chuckle at her unique take on an abstract concept.

   A moment of silence engulfs the two of you as both of you fall deep in your thoughts.

   There was never a quiet moment under the roof of NCT, and tonight is no exception.

   “Hey, isn’t the beef really good?” Yuta’s favorite member, Mark, speaks, delighted at the flavors bursting in his mouth.

   “Haechan, don’t you dare pull a prank on us with coke and vinegar ever again,” Taeyong scolds the youngest member, recovering from his gagging session, while Johnny and Taeil are still chugging down glasses of water to get rid of the aftertaste. “Is it really necessary to do any of this?”

   “Sorry, mom, my hand itched,” the prankster smiles innocently.

   “Didn’t Haechan grow a lot?” you bring up, breaking the quietness.

   Your friend gulps down her coke before pointing out, “Isn’t he the same age as us?”

   Your crane your neck, your head now tilting sideways. “He is?”

   “Crazy, isn’t it?” your friend responds. “The majority of the Dreamies are the same age as us.”

   “Yuta, didn’t you say something about college?” Mark asks, chowing down pieces of watermelon.

   The older boy nods. “Wouldn’t it be fun to experience it? None of us went to college.”

   Taeyong uncomfortably shifts on the bench at the mention of college. 

    Like Yuta mentioned, none of the members of NCT went to college and probably won’t go because it’s not a likely option, considering their packed schedules. He knows that the mere mention of it can bring down the mood because for them, college represents the definition of normalcy, the life of a normal person, and with them not going to college or graduating high school, he doesn’t want them to have a chance to regret or have second thoughts.

   “Imagine if they visited our college for one day,” your friend mused.

   Extending your short arm to pour yourself another cup of coke, you wheeze between your breaths, “Hey, I bet that the professors would ask for autographs.”

   “Yeah, I think we wouldn’t stand a chance in the classes,” Johnny laughs, adding ice to his coke. “They would be too advanced for us to understand anything.”

   Yes, Taeyong let the conversation flow. He even joined in on the conversation a few times. He didn’t want to ruin the mood by switching the topic in a way that could be nothing short of a very obvious attempt, and if he didn’t say something, his group members, his family, would notice.

  “It would be nice to make new friends, right?” Yuta expresses. “New people to dance with, sing with, do sports with..."

   “I think Yuta’s tired of our awful soccer skills,” Jaehyun replies humorously.

   “I feel like they would say that they would want to make new friends, but it all depends on your personality,” you say, tucking your hands behind your head. “I only have you.”

   Your friend laughs, replicating your movements. “Loser, I’m on the same boat as you.”

   “Wouldn’t it be nice to go to game rooms or comic book stores?” Mark carries on as he stretches his arms out to the sky.

   “Wouldn’t it be nice to be your own karaoke room or be able to dance the trends?” you fancy.

   “Or be the trend,” your friend adds.

   “I just want to sleep,” Johnny murmurs, lazily dragging his feet across the floor to the cushioned bench placed against the white walls. Turning his large body so that his body faces the wall, he hugs an available pillow with his legs and remarks, “Idol or student, you don’t get to sleep that much.”

   “It would be nice to work hard for something that you know you want to do,” you dream. “We have no clue what to do in the future. Most of us blindly study and get internships.”

   Just then, a bright stream of light passes your eyes, and your eyes widen.

   “Did you see that? That was a shooting star!” Jungwoo exclaims, his eyes mirroring the sparkling trail.

   Everyone looks up at the sky even though the moment has well passed.

   “We’re living under the same sky as them, so how are our worlds so different?” you say without much energy, staring at the now dark sky. “I bet they were pitted against each other at some point in their trainee lives, but here they are in this world. Years of friendship, what would that be like?”

   Slightly offended, your friend sits up from her resting position. “Hey, we’ve been friends since middle school.”

   “Do you remember the time when you were young and saw your favorite artists on tv?” Doyoung reminisces.

   “They’re the reasons why I became one,” Haechan concurs.

   Taeyong thoughtfully fixates his eyes on where the shooting star once was, his arms acting accordingly.

   “They were so young when they were casted,” you whisper. “It’s kind of sad when you think about it.”

   Another wave of silence overwhelms you. Your friend spares another look at you and watches you stretch your hands to the sky, hands shaped as if you are taking a snapshot of your view.

   She responds with a quiet voice of her own, “Some of them didn’t even plan on being an idol.”

   Taeyong’s hands retract to his sides. “I remember when I first met you guys. I’m really glad that we have each other.”

   The sappy moment comes to an abrupt end when Johnny’s snores take over.

   You turn your head over to your friend who is fast asleep.

   Eyes averting to the inky sky once again, you contemplate quietly, “I wonder what they’re doing now.”

   Meanwhile, the boys are trying to stuff a sock in Johnny’s mouth to muffle his snores. Taeyong, not participating, stays in the background and enjoys the last bit of their night of freedom.

[purplesurveys]

1037

survey by joybucket

Do you have a vlog? No, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to start and maintain one. Just never got around to it because it’s so much work, from conceptualizing to shooting to editing; and idk if my humor will translate to the camera. Plus I hate being shot in public, so it would never work out for me.

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Yeah, a lot of times. It just looks like such a therapeutic outlet that I can sink my teeth into. Who knows, if I ever gain more confidence in the future I may just try making a video or two.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. As much as I hated waking up early from ages 4-6, it was nice to be home by noon and it also made for good training for the rest of my years in school.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? Good Mythical Morning, several wrestling-themed channels for their weekly lists, and KBS for their Return of Superman clips. I have a lot of other subscriptions, but those are the main ones I’ve been tuning into lately.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? I get my mom the most, but sometimes I’ll be told I look like my dad as well.

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I don’t think so.

Have you ever given birth? Definitely not.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? That wouldn’t be possible as I wasn’t born yet and by the time that I was, the internet had already been around for a few years.

Do you remember Y2K? I was alive when it happened but barely conscious, so no. I was only 2.

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 1, turning 2 that year.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? We didn’t have lots of vacations when I was a kid, because for most of the 2000s my parents were still busy saving up and climbing up their respective ladders at work. We only started to regularly go on vacations by the time I was around 11, when finances started to get easier to handle. That said, as a kid I really loved the time my parents would bring us to the local water park on weekends.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? As a teenager when hating pink and general girliness was cool, probably. I don’t wish for it now.

What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the eldest.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? Idk what kind of stereotype you’re looking for, tbh. As much as I don’t really like tooting my own horn, I’ve heard firstborns are usually more intelligent than their younger siblings and I would attest to at least that lol

Have you ever worn overalls? Yup, though they aren’t the denim kind.

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I had just turned 10. I thought I was going to get it while I was still 9 (the signs had been showing for a while by then), but it ultimately came a month after my 10th birthday. Still, I was one of the rare cases in my family who had it at a lot younger.

Do you get cramps? I used to get leg cramps all the goddamn time as a kid, and they always came in the middle of the night. I don’t get them or any kind of cramps anymore, thankfully; and the only time I do is on my fingers when I don’t hold my chopsticks properly.

Is your mom mentally stable? I think there are definitely some things therapy could fix.

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, you’re referring to the other parent.

Where do you want to go on vacation next? Oh my godddddd, Thailand plz.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Wrestlemania.

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? A neighbor’s kid passed away a few months ago, but I didn’t know them.

What's your favorite type of crackers? Ritz Bits are where it’s at.

What's your favorite spice? Cumin.

Are you sensitive? Yeah. I’m a little soft and I tend to take a lot of things personally.

Are you intuitive? It wouldn’t be the first word I’d use to describe myself, but I guess I have my moments.

Are you spiritual? No.

Do you wish your life were easier? Um, if it was a legitimate option then yeah obviously.

What color hair did your first crush have? Black.

What was the name of your first crush? Andi.

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? I don’t think I’ve heard of that site. If we’re talking of websites that host flash games or whatever it is they’re called, I always hung out on Y8 haha.

Do you remember your first email address? I didn’t anymore before encountering this, but this question made me automatically rack my brain and now I do remember and now I’m wincing as well. 

Did you name your lego characters? I didn’t make any characters, I think. I just liked making towers.

What was/is your high school's mascot? Both my schools don’t have mascots.

What is/was your favorite class in high school? All the history classes we had to take under the social sciences umbrella; it was Philippine history for freshman year, Asian history for sophomore year; world history in junior year; and then unfortunately we made the switch to basic economics for senior year which was like ???? Why couldn’t we have gone all the way with history? Economics ended up being super boring lol.

Is college an adventure? It really was. I grew and learned so much in it and I couldn’t have spent the last four years in a better place and a better school.

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? No.

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who pretty much feels like my older brother and not a cousin at this point.

Do you look your age? According to most, no. I look a little younger than 22.

What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Chocolateeeeeeee.

Do you like toe socks? I’ve never had to wear those before so I don’t have an opinion.

Muffins or cupcakes? Cupcakes.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? I’ve had a wallet stolen, so kinda.

How old were you when you got your first phone? I was technically still 6 because I had an advanced celebration, but it was for my 7th birthday.

Are you ready for summer?!?! Now that I think about it I do want to go back to summer, just because it was such a vastly different – and a lot happier – time...

Is winter your favorite season? It probably would be if we had it.

How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? Zero.

Are you unique in any way? I think everyone is.

Do you have any hidden talents? if there are any left, I’m not aware of them yet.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Just about everyone, all the time.

Who was your best friend in high school? Gabie for the most part, but Angela was there as well.

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Commercials creeped me out as a child, not a certain book or movie.

What song makes you cry? Usually it’s 26 by Paramore, but not always.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I’ve told a couple of people.

How many teachers have you had crushes on? I think around three or four. Possibly more, but I don’t remember all too well as I’ve since discarded a lot of memories from my old school.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? Nah. I mostly stripped them of their clothes and broke their arms and legs, lol.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Nope. I didn’t have enough dolls to do that, anyway. It wasn’t my toy of choice.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? I was 16.

Do you like church? Hell no.

Do you have scars from self-harm? You’d only be able to make them out if you knew I self-harmed, but I think they’re almost unrecognizable at this point.

Do you have cellulite? It’s only present if I tightly twist my skin.

How old were you when you started getting zits? Not sure, somewhere in the middle of high school. I’ve never had lasting problems with acne though; I only ever get one or two at a time and it happens like, once a year.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Aside from hair growing in places? No, not really. It stayed the same.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? I’m a tad bit shorter, though for a time it seemed as if my growth spurt would lead me to overtake her.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? It’s not a personal choice of mine, but there could very much be situations in the far future where I would consider doing so. I’m not shutting that possibility down.

Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one; I haven’t tried living on my own yet.

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? So many.

Is your mom paranoid? Very much so. She shows some signs of OCD and her paranoia is reflected through that. 

Do you trim your own hair? Not my hair, but I do this with my bangs.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? No. That’s one of the things I’ll change if I myself become a mom.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? Pirate, Tinkerbell, Daria, AJ Lee, Dora the Explorer, Sofie.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My first goldfish.

Did you have your own room as a child? Not until I was 10.

What color was your nursery? I wasn’t put in one. I shared a room with my parents and siblings until I was 10.

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think they waited it out until a few weeks before I was born.

What is your name (first and middle)? My first name is Robyn and my second is Isabelle; I don’t need to share my middle name.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? They never thought about it, which is kinda disappointing because I do want to know what my other name could’ve been.

Do you like your name? I’ve ended up doing so, yes.

What would you name your children? I haven’t cemented decisions that far ahead. I have ideas for names, like Olivia, but they’re nothing absolute. 

Do you exercise regularly? Nope.

Do you have a healthy BMI? No, I’ve always been a little underweight.

What is your favorite season? Wet/rainy.

Do you look like your mom? This is like the third time I’ve answered this within just this survey lol, yes I do.

What is the origin of your last name? Spanish/Portuguese.

What is the meaning of your first name? I’ve heard it means ‘fame.’ I just don’t feel like checking.

What month were you born in? April.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope. But my sister and one of my cousins share the same birthday, right down to the year.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Eh, it comes out every now and then but it’s not all the time. I definitely enjoy savory more.

What photo editing software do you use? None lol, photo editing is one of my Achilles’ heels.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Tianggeeeeeeeees.

[thetvmoviefan]

Nabrina FanFics Part 7 (Friday 13th Update)

Sabrina Spellman & Nicholas Scratch (Nick Scratch) FanFics MASTERLIST

Updated: December 13, 2019 (12/13/2019) also Friday 13th

FINALLY!! We got the release date for Part 3 of CAOS and it’s going to come on January 24, 2020!! While Netflix still has yet to release a official trailer even though today (12/13) was good to release it, thought it would be a good day to release a newly updated list of Current and NEW Nabrina FanFictions for anyone waiting for our favorite Power Couple Sabrina Spellman and Nicholas Scrath to come back. So If you’re in need a Nabrina fix or a general CAOS fix here’s a lst of fics that are worth the reads and re-reads till Part 3 comes out.

As always have a Wicked or Hell-ish time with these fics and ENJOY!!!

Fics in Order by Last Update 12/13/2019

[Key: AU=Alternate Universe - AH=All Human - * = New Fic to List]

1. “Just a Little Obsessed”*

Author: eyerys

Summary: Nicholas has developed a tinie-tiny crush on Sabrina. Nothing like major or whatever. It's not like he thinks about her all the time or daydreams about what it would be like to be with her or how cool she is. No, not at all.Sabrina doesn't have a crush on Nick. No, not at all. Uh-uh. She has Harvey. Sweet and loving Harvey Kinkle. But for some reason, she can't help but find her mind wandering. Rated Teen - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 12/13/2019

2. “Lessons in the Unseen”

Author: bunivy

Summary: Academy Teachers AU. Sabrina Spellman lives as simple a life as a half-mortal half-witch can. Despite her dislike for the headmaster, she enjoys spending her time teaching Ritual Magic at the Academy of Unseen Arts, hoping to positively shape the minds of young witches and warlocks. However, with the sudden dreadful announcement of her aunt Zelda's engagement and the appearance of one mysterious - and strikingly handsome - Nicholas Scratch, Sabrina finds that her life is not so simple anymore. Or all that safe. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 31/? - Last Update 12/12/2019

3. “Off The Record - One Shots”*

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: Missing scenes from my completed piece, 'Off The Record.'AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 12/12/2019

4. “Ocean”*

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU, M-Rated. Nicholas Scratch has everything working in his favor. He's got a decent job as a history teacher, his roommate Melvin is always up for video games and getting high, and Sabrina Spellman lets him mess up her sheets frequently. Sabrina knows Nick isn't good for her, but she can't stay away, no matter how hard it is to pretend she's completely okay with their casual arrangement. But when life takes an unexpected curve, Nick is forced to face a new normal he doesn't know how to navigate. And Sabrina may or may not be there to help him through it. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 12/09/2019

5. “I knew you were trouble”*

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: Sabrina didn’t know that being away from home for the first time could be so hard.Away from her aunts, friends and her-lifelong-boyfriend, Sabrina have to deal with the nostalgia but also with the new challenges College's life mean: get used to share a room with a not-so-nice roommate, put up with long hours of study and very few of sleep, learn to live from pre-cooked meals instead of her aunt Hilda’s homemade ones, find balance between her studies and her new social life… And resist the temptation a certain Nicholas Scratch mean for her. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 12/07/2019

6. “As The Moon Rises”*

Author: venzaren

Summary: Sabrina Spellman is tired.Tired of living a double life. Tired of facing discrimination at the hands of her pack. Tired of dealing with her status as an Omega. And most of all, she's tired of people hounding her about finding her mate.Then Nick Scratch returns to Greendale. AU - Rated General - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 12/07/2019

7. “Thirteen Memories”

Author: tempestbreak

Summary: (Set at the end of Season 2) Sabrina and her friends go to Hell and rescue Nick -- but what happens when that's the easy part?It turns out, having the Dark Lord inside your mind for months can do some damage, and Nick comes back different. His memories of the events leading up to his sacrifice, including his relationship with Sabrina, are gone. How can Sabrina help him regain his memories of their time together when she's not even sure she trusts her own? Rated Mature - Chapters 6/? - Last Update 11/02/2019

8. “But The Greatest Is Love” 

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: The acheron captured Lucifer Morningstar, but their problems are far from over. The coven is decimated, the Church of Night is no more, Father Blackwood is on the run, and Nick and Sabrina's relationship is in ruins. How do they pick up the pieces and move on? There are more questions than answers and the consequences could be of biblical proportions. Rated Mature - Chapters 25/25 - COMPLETED 10/28/2019

9. ”Ground Beneath Her Feet”

Author: mindlesshappy

Summary: Sabrina is born out of a miracle - one that she wishes would repeat for her, but when she is destined for someone else, how much can she resist before her heart decides to give in. Alternatively, Nick is Sabrina's soulmate, but she really just wants Harvey to be it. Also, in the backseat are all the other possible ships, getting their own soulmate glories. Rated Teen - Chapters 15/? - Last Update 10/22/2019

10. “Back to You”

Author: nadiaselite

Summary: Sabrina brings Nick back from hell. Rated Teen - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 10/11/2019

11. “The Open Road”

Author: paradiamond

Summary: Nick wants her back, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes. In fact, he insists on it. Rated Teen - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

12. “The words “I love you” aren’t enough”*

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: “Look at me, Nick” he was reluctant but when he finally looked up she took his face in her hands making him unable to look away “What you did that day… Nick, you sacrificed yourself for my sake, even when I mistreated you and told you all those horrible things. You did it for me, because you love me… Don’t you see? You’re incapable of being evil.”Or... Sabrina gets her boyfriend back but things don’t go as smoothly as she thinks they will. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

13. “Be True to Your School”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch​

Summary: Nicholas Scratch is the Golden Boy™ of Baxter High; star athlete, top of his class academically, and devastatingly handsome. Sabrina Spellman sees Sophomore year as an opportunity to expand her horizons; joining the cheerleading squad, running for student council, and making new friends along the way while working to maintain her relationships with her old friends. What Sabrina Spellman doesn't know: sophomore year is about to turn her world upside-down. AU - Rated General - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 9/12/2019

14. “Mission: Let’s get my boyfriend back”

Author: My_Evak_Heart

Summary: Sabrina and the Fright Club ventures on their first mission: getting Nick back from Hell Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/7/2019

15. “Jealousy is a killer”

Author: Melissa1226

Summary: Will Sabrina and Nick Start something new? and who is watching them from the shadow full of jealousy? Rated Mature - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/28/2019

16. “The Institute for Divine Craft”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch​

Summary: After a humiliating spat with Father Blackwood pushes Sabrina away from her witching life and the Academy, Madam Satan crafts an alternative solution to move Sabrina Spellman further down the path of night. Ultimately leading her to the Institute for the Divine Craft. A handsome Headmaster with mysterious ties to her father, convinces Sabrina to abandon her mortal life, and cultivate her abilities as a child of the Church of Lucifer. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 16/? - Last Update 8/21/2019

17. “The Jock”

Author: mikaila_ealum

Summary: An Alternate Universe where Nicholas Scratch is Baxter High’s quarterback along with one of the most popular boys at school. With few knowing the truth, Scratch is living a double life as a warlock at the Academy of Unseen Arts. Sabrina takes a hiatus from the Academy to get more in touch with her mortal side. When Sabrina gets back she becomes partners with Nicholas for a project in theatre class. AU - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/07/2019

18. “act 5, scene 2 (thou and i are too wise to woo peaceably)”

Author: ghostemo aka @wickedscratch​

Summary: When Sabrina Spellman rose to a challenge issued by Prudence Night, she never imagined she’d actually make the varsity cheer squad - or that doing so would upend life as she knew it. Now she has to navigate her new role within the social hierarchy of hell -er Baxter High as well as trying to get her boyfriend to actually communicate. It certainly doesn’t help that she’s been paired up with the annoyingly handsome Nicholas Scratch, captain of Greendale’s beloved football team, for a project in her theater class. It’s exactly as, if not more so, cliche as it sounds. AU/AH - Rated Teen - Chapters 3/? - 7/25/2019

19. “Off the Record”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU. Detective Nicholas Scratch left New York for Greendale in desperate need of a change of scenery. The small town takes some getting used to, but local reporter Sabrina Spellman quickly grabs his attention. It's the fresh start he needed until Greendale's residents start turning up dead. With a murderer on the loose, no one is innocent - and anyone might be next. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 29/29 - COMPLETED 7/22/2019

20. “Bring You Close To Me”

Author: BridgetMcKennitt

Summary: Sabrina and her friends managed to bring Nicholas back from Hell. There was a lot the two of them needed to discuss, but tonight, they had this. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 7/13/2019

21. “A Brief Moment”

Author: bunivy

Summary: Ever since he's returned from Hell, Nicholas Scratch has been having nightmares. With help from Aunt Hilda, Sabrina unknowingly shows him a light and for a moment, Nicholas knows everything will be okay. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 6/24/2019

22. “To Hell and Back”

Author: swtnerdgirl

Summary: A year has passed since Sabrina and her friends rescued Nick from Hell. No one came back the same. They all had their scars. Some emotionally. Some physically. In the days leading to Hilda's wedding, they all prepare for their lives to change and heal their wounds. Rated Mature - Chapters 16/? - Last Update 6/06/2019

23. “Dead Witch Walking”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch​

Summary: Faced with the possibility of being harrowed to death by her classmates, Sabrina finds an escape. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/26/2019

24. “Moonlight Beneath Rough Lips”

Author: ivylikeveins

Summary: After the encounter with the thirteen witches of Greendale, Sabrina enters the dining hall with moonlight locks bathed in soft blue hues, and Nick does not know what to do. He ends up with a soft and small Sabrina pressed into his chest, sleeping, and wrapped around his very much over-sized jacket with Nick's lips pressed into the soft, pearly strands he wants his soul to get entangled within. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/19/2019

25. “The Hunt”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Nick howled into the night, up at the stars to signify that he was ready on the eve of Lupercalia, the darkness of midnight around them. The first sound of the horn sent them into the forest. The hunt had begun. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/11/2019

26. “Secrets, Secrets are no Fun”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: Sabrina is the new kid for the first time in her life. Choosing to go to the Academy full-time seems to be a hard transition than she was expecting. With the Weird Sisters harassment at an all-time high, dealing with leaving her mortal friend's and condescending teachers, Sabrina is suffering. She's not even allowed to have Salem for comfort. It's not all bad though. She is finally free to do magic whenever she wants, and there's a charming warlock who is being particularly nice to her. Plus, someone is leaving kind gifts on her bed at the end of the night. She just wishes she knew who it was. Not Rated - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 5/06/2019

27. “My only love sprung from my only hate”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: High School AU where Nick is based on the version of him that Sabrina creates in her dream during the Batibat episode. Harvey and Sabrina have broken up and don't want to work together on the Romeo and Juliet assignment in Drama class, so she ends up being partners with Nick AU - Not Rated - Chapters 7/? - Last Update 5/04/2019

28. “Unsettled Nighttime Creatures”

Author: mindlesshappy

Summary: We all know Sabrina is going to save Nick. This is how Nick reacts to being saved - which, spoilers alert - is like a very stupid warlock. Rated Teen - Chapters 5/5 - Completed 4/25/2019

29. “Selfless”

Author: sarahwut

Summary: Sabrina Spellman dragged Nicholas Scratch back from Hell. But Hell might be better than a world in which they aren't together. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Completed 4/23/2019

30. “Homecoming”

Author: cherrystems

Summary: After several months Sabrina is able to get Nick back from Hell with the help of her family and friends. However, Nick has to adjust to Earth again while dealing with PTSD and anxiety. This tells the story of the growth of Sabrina and Nick's relationship over the recovery time. Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 4/20/2019

31. “Under Your Spell”

Author: londonmarie

Summary: Sabrina doesn't hesitate to have her Dark Baptism and things go differently. Rated Teen - Chapters 10/? - Last Update 4/18/2019

32. “Photographs”

Author: Greyowl9831

Summary: It's been at least 150 years since Sabrina signed her name in the Book of the Beast. One day she finds an old photo album. Will the memories it contains be a great walk down memory lane or will it be more than she can bare? Not Rated - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 4/14/2019

33. “An itch That Needed Scratching”

Author: umbrellacorp

Summary: What if Nick slayed his familiar and Sabrina and Nick got to experience the last night of the Lupercalia festival alone. Tonight, Sabrina would be transformed. Nick was going to show her power that she never knew she had, an innate carnal power. They were about to become the most powerful union of the Church of Night. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/13/2019

34. “and I keep waiting (but I won’t say I’m waiting)”

Author: lost_n_stereo @lost-n-stereo​

Summary: You would think that it would hurt less as the days go by, since it’s been nearly two years since Nick sacrificed himself for the greater good and Lilith took him to hell. Except, he didn’t sacrifice himself for the greater good, he sacrificed himself for her. And that makes it a hell of a lot tougher to let go. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/10/2019

35. “The Four Pictures”

Author: Copper_16

Summary: It’s been 10 years. Nick and Sabrina are teachers at the Academy along with some familiar faces. It’s been a decade there can’t be that much chaos anymore, right? Wrong. Rated Teen - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 4/09/2019

36. “Fire”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Their power—together—was overwhelming. It was something that she had not felt either, the consuming feeling of expanding power. It was entirely addicting. Rated Mature - Chapters 2/2 - Completed 3/24/2019

37. “something I can believe”

Author: Anry

Summary: Missing scene after Sabrina's baptism. I wouldn't say that it's really a relationship here, just conversation. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 1/25/2019

AND THERE YOU GO AGAIN!!!

Everyone please make sure to leave love through the comments and giving kudos to all these amazing writers who have worked so hard on giving on Nabrina fics, because of course without them the wait for Part 3 would be so much harder. 

But honestly these writers work so hard on these stories they truly deserve the encouragement and love for the hard work in writing they do. Giving a simple “I love the chapter, can’t wait for more” will keep them going.

So make sure to say how much you love their writing or even what you liked about the story/chapter or just by passing their stories to other fellow Nabrina Shippers or just CAOS fans. 

If anyone has any other suggestions for the list feel free to message me anytime :).

Again! ENJOY

[boeserbby]

Only Time Will Tell- Brock Boeser 1.3

about/request: I really wanted to explore a relationship where you are ‘the other woman’ this is the result of that. I’m not sure how long this will end up so…. sorry.

warnings: cursing, i think that's it??

authors note: Sorry I took such a long time bringing this out, I didn’t know if anyone actually liked this or not. Remember that a lot of details in this story are made up or changed. Make sure to check out parts one and two, I fixed some mistakes and made some corrections. 

timeline: march 2017

word count: 2614

    Hockey used to be a life for not just me, but my whole family. Three nights a week we would hop in my dad’s old work truck to cruise over to wherever Charlie, and in turn Brock, played. Often times we would meet up with the Boeser’s to grab the best seats right by the ice. Here my mom would yell to “Shoot the puck!” or boo at whatever call she felt didn't fit the crime. My dad would grab a couple of beers while talking to some guys he knew from his work. Small towns mean most people there he knew so he would rarely sit with us the whole game. Sometimes I would sit by my mom and Brock’s mom and sisters. Sometimes there would be kids from school or members from the team who were scratched I would sit by instead. Wren was often the one scratched. He never made it to practice on time and when he did he would spend more time talking to guys on the team then practicing. He was nice and seen grew to be one of the guys on the team I felt fully comfortable with. He understood what it was like to be the younger sibling and live in the shadow of our elders. His older brother Josh was team captain and lead them to 3 state titles in a row.

    After the game, all of us would go out to eat. The Boeser’s and the Y/L/N’s and whomever joined along from the team. Dad would tell Charlie what to do better, of course Dad knew what it was like to play hockey. He played for the University of Minnesota until a really bad accident his sophomore year took him out. Charlie, and me too (at least for a little bit), just wanted to impress him. Often times dad would rag on Charlie until they got into a mini fight. Charlie would hitch a ride back with Brock and his family. My dad would then spend the whole drive home complaining that Charlie was never going to be as good as him if Charlie didn't take his advice. 

    Although the bad seeped into the good. The hockey rink was were my family was one. We all would come together to scream when number 6 would skate out. Cause no matter how awful things were going at home, the rink was a time of escape. It was when hot chocolate would warm cold fingers in the late second period or the high of sugar rush from skittles in the second intermission. It was a time to giggle at the little kids they brought out between periods. They wouldn’t yet be comfortable on skates so they would slip and fall or miss the puck completely. I couldn’t remember what it was like when Charlie and I were that young playing, but I like thinking we were better than that.

    After he had died, I didn’t go to many games. There was no more hot chocolate or skittles high. No little kids falling or scoring on their own net. We never went out to eat after the games. There were no more arguments between dad and Charlie. The nearby rink which once held the best memories was purposely avoided at all times. Life went on, but each day seemed to hold some emotional punch of remembrance. Like one day, about 3 months after he died I came home from school and my mom had cleaned out his room. Neat piles of his clothes and pictures were placed in bins labeled “attic” or “giveaway.” His first skates, his autographed Detroit Red Wings Steve Yzerman jersey, and so much more was packed away to be set aside. His posters, CDs and other trinkets were thrown out or donated to a thrift store. I remember yelling at my mom that this is his room. She told me she needed to heal and that dad had been asking her to do it for two weeks. It was time to move on.

    Since moving I had gone to no hockey games. And the Vancouver Canucks were not a bad team. They had just been having a difficult time in recent years. That didn’t make city pride for them any less. Any game night and the always crowded downtown streets turned into an obstacle only the bravest could handle. I never purposely put myself in a position to make the drive down to the stadium in the past 2 years of living in Vancouver. Occasionally I was invited to games by friends and classmates. I managed to get out of it every time too, but somehow escaping this invite seemed impossible.

    It was Brock’s mother’s last night in the city before she had to fly back down to Minnesota to care for Brock’s younger siblings. I was extended an invite due to my ‘gracious’ hosting, my mother called me and told me how Laurie, Brock’s mother, raved how I grew into such a beautiful and caring young woman. So there I was crammed in Rogers Arena with 18,000 or so people. Laurie was on one side of me wearing a new Boeser jersey. I, even though I lived there awhile, owned no such fan gear and instead dressed in a thick sweatshirt. Natalie tried to get me to wear her old Trevor Linden jersey, but I high tailed it out of there before she could fish it out of her closet. 

    I loved hockey growing up, but standing here made me feel so out of place. Life had changed so much in the past two years. I was no longer the little tomboy with scraped knees and a messy ponytail. I longer wanted to play hockey. Now, I had put hockey out of my life so much that welcoming it back in right now felt traitorous to everything I had done to avoid coming here. Laurie was cheering and dancing. I guess there is nothing quite like the debut of your child in the NHL. Warm ups had just started so every guy was on the ice. It was easy to spot him in the white 6 with the dark blue background. I got chills the first time I saw it. Boeser was spelled out in big letters across his back. I imagined at that moment seeing Charlie out there. He would mess around and probably fall trying to impress some girls he would see on the front row. But he would be here, and he would be happy.

    “I’m gonna go grab a beer, want one?” I asked his mom. Canada drinking laws are sort of amazing. I remember getting carded at a bar when I first turned 19. There was a split second of panic before I remembered I didn’t really need to be 21 up here. 

    “No, hun, I’m going to facetime the girls so they can see Brock on the ice,” she said grabbing her phone.

    People were still pouring in from the front doors. Lines were long for everything even the escultors. I recognized some people from college and waved. They sported brand new jerseys and held in their arms peanuts and beers and popcorn. “We are gonna win!” They all said. People were invigorated with the call up of Brock. I was invigorated to get a beer in me that's for sure. Fifteen minutes and 16 bucks later I carried my two beers back to our spot. Laurie was finishing up her call to Jessica and Paul, Brock siblings along with Duke. I waved and said hi to everyone. 

    “Kid, you gotta come back more often,” Paul said. Paul was Brock’s oldest sibling and he always acted like he was so much older than the rest of us. Add on to the fact that I was the youngest in our family friend group, “Kid” has been my nickname well into my early teens. 

    “I will soon, I have just been super busy with college and all.”

    It had been mine excuse through out my time here. For the first 8 months my parents begged me to come home. At this point they didn't even call me anymore. I guess it's far cause I don't call them up much too. 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay back home,” Laurie said. “Are you guys staying up to watch the game?”

“Only for a little bit, I work early in the morning.” Jessica said. West coast games ended way too late to stay up watching them in Minnesota. While it was only 7:00 our time it was 9 there so the game could last until 12 or 1 am. 

We all said our goodbyes as the lights dimmed. The Canucks opening video was being shown on the big screen while music blared in the arena. This was pump up time. As our guys skated out people cheered loudly. This game was supposed to be good. The Ducks always had a little rivalry with us. Add on to the fact that this was Boeser’s first home game and we were on a two-game losing streak. The team, and the fans, were hungry for a win.

    Unfortunately moral lasted until the ducks scored for the third time in the first period. Add on when Montour scored to make it 4-0 in the second, people began realising that not much has changed even with Brock. As the zamboni entered the ice for second intermission, Laurie turns to me. 

    “So, your mom told me your in college,” she started. God, she was fishing. Mom’s think they are clever trying to get information by stating the conversation at a wide base value and steer it to the cavity in the situation. 

“Yep, I go to the University of British Columbia for journalism,” I said sipping water I got after downing both beers in the first period. 

“That must be a lot of work, what do you do for work?” she asks.

“I actually write for Vancouver’s newspaper, they pay pretty good, and I do work study, so they pay for so much of my tuition that isn’t covered by my scholarships and then I get some of the money”

“What do you do for work study?” she asks.

“My English professor needs an assistant. I’m basically his gopher. If he needs a book from the library or a coffee I go get it. I transcribe his lectures for any kid who misses class. Sometimes I will tutor kids or help them find good sources for their papers. It’s not too bad, maybe three or four hours per day and I get like 6 credits towards my English major.”

“Gosh, that's a lot. He needs you to do all of that?”

 I shrug, “It sucks sometimes but the professor is nice so…”

“Your mom said that you haven’t come home since moving here.” They way she phrases the end of it is hard to respond to. It's not a question, more of a statement. She didn't sound mad or upset like my mom does when she says it. Laurie just sounds concerned. Her voice feels like a hug.

“It’s just soo much,” I start. “Charlie’s gone and mom and dad are splitting up. Mom met this new guy and he is so proper. Dad hasn’t even called me in two months because I said I’m not coming home for his huge labor day party. Plus I just got so much going on.”

“It’s okay to be hurt by what's going on, but don’t hide from it. Your parents love you a lot. They just don’t know how to love each other with so much hurt.”

“I don't know how to love them with so much hurt.” I mutter.

    Everyone is buzzing as the crowd makes its way out of the arena. We may have lost, but Brock put one in the beginning of the third to excite the crowd. Laurie and I hang back to give Brock time to get ready. The team could have lost 10-1 and she still would have been glowing with excitement for Brock. His life was changing, and he was no longer the little boy who fell over on the ice. Where most parents would have been freaking out, Laurie handled with grace, something she has done her entire life. No matter the situation Laurie put on her big girl pants and muddled through.

We meandered our way to the locker room, showing our passes to the security guard. In the hallway we waited as different guys from the team joined up with their wives or girlfriends. They all hugged Laurie telling her how wonderful her son is. Everyone loved Brock. Well almost everyone.

    Brock finally made his way out. His hair was still wet from what I was hoping was a shower and not sweat. He and Laurie hugged when he reached us. It was an awkward second or two while we figured out if we would hug or not. Wrapping my arms around him felt weird, almost as weird as the time we kissed. Yet there was a nostalgia in it too; we went always so awkward. In fact I remember a time in my life where I never thought we would ever be strangers. I remember once when I was about 12 and Brock was about 13, I had a dream that Brock and I were dating. The next day I remember being shy and awkward especially when he called me “Kid”. I went all pink and Charlie would not let it go for a whole year. Finally, when Brock asked a different girl to the joint 7th-8th grade dance Charlie let it go. I spent the whole night crying and accepted Thomas Miller’s invite. He had braces and dark hair and spent all night trying to kiss me. After the second slow dance song I joined up with my friends instead. The next day I heard a rumor going around that he said not only had we kissed, but that I let him touch my boobs. Charlie had been mad and cornered me about it. When I admitted it false, he said he taught Thomas a lesson. The next week someone “anonymously” shared a picture of Thomas at a birthday party sucking on his thumb with a stuffed animal. From there rumors spread he wet the bed every night.

    We always had each others backs. It made we wonder how things ended up so differently. We all walked out together. As I reached into my pocket to order an Uber, Laurie offered to have them drive me back to my apartment.

    “It’s too late for a young woman like you to hop in some random mans car.” she insisted.

    “”I couldn’t bother you guys,” I said.

    “No bother,” Brock said. “Might be nice to see more of the city anyway.”

    Thirty minutes later I lay in bed without make up and in an old, ripped up shirt from Natalie’s older brother that he left here. Natalie was already deep asleep when I got home with one of the Harry Potter movies on full volume. With school for both of us the next day, it was important to get as much sleep as possible. But as I laid there all I could think about was Brock’s hair and his cologne. I wished things could have ended better for us all those years ago. Maybe there’s time for change now. A girl could hope.

    As I finally started to drift asleep my phone’s ping jolts me awake.

Brock Boeser has texted you.

Thanks for coming tonight. I hope to see you soon.

    God, it’s going to be a long night.

[nortnaibz]

"Bother My Askbox?" now,, what if I sent you 1-50 🤔 as a treat!! Haha just kidding.. unless. RETALIATION BITCH BOY

JFLKHSAFHDLFJDSKJF that is going to take me a hot minute 2 answer my dear but i will do the ones i haven’t already answered. just for u, gayass.

1. what color are your socks?

don’t have any ^-^ thems my feet

answered 2 <3

3. what is something you regret in the past month?

well there is a lot but not buying halloween candy sooner especially

4. do you believe in love at first sight?

nnnnnnope

5. when was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?

i always had to write thank you notes for xmas and birthday gifts as a kid so probably one of those? for an actual written letter it’s been at least a decade

6. how old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? who taught you?

i......sighs i never learned how to ride a bike bc i went over the handlebars of one when i was like 4 and then never got back on one -_-

7. do you get along with your parents? why or why not?

complicated bc i’m the queer kid next question

8. what’s your favorite season?

fall!!!!!! even though we don’t really have it here

9. do you currently like someone?

well you know the answer to this sir......i’m perhaps a little gay for my girlfriend

10. have you ever used a ouija board?

yes i have on multiple occasions and nothing happened

11. what’s the last song you sang?

prisoner by dance gavin dance listening 2 it on repeat while i rank xd

12. what’s your favorite scent?

rain on pavement!!!!!!!!!!!

13. what’s your favorite urban legend?

uhhhhhhhhh? i don’t think i know any

14. what’s a bad habit you have?

i have many but i’m super clumsy and not very aware of like where i am in relation to other things so i run into shit a lot

15. what’s a strange habit you have?

i wrap my earbud cord around my neck so it isn’t dangling and in my way when i walk places 

16. what’s the first instrument you learned to play?

if you wanna be technical i learned to play flute for a very brief period in 4th grade but i hated it. so guitar!

17. how would you describe your type?

uhhhhhhh good question people who are nice to me <3 and most men

18. would you rather stay in or go out?

for the most part stay in but i usually hit a point after awhile of being home too long where i Need to leave the house lol

19. what was the last thing you said to your mom?

bye after i called her yesterday lol

20. do you want to get married someday?

not traditionally but yes

answered 21 and 22!

23. what’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

i had to answer a phone call at work abt the pet section which i know nothing about and the lady was clearly kinda annoyed and when i told her we didn’t sell kennels in the store (and that yes, i had checked) she said thank you and i. didn’t say anything else. i like forgot to speak and she just hung up and i felt so stupid for it ksdfjksdfhjk

24. when was the last time you went sledding?

it’s been at least a decade iirc 

25. have you ever/do you like someone you know you can never be with?

yes........ *picture of norton campbell*

26. do people often mispronounce your name?

nope

27. would you like to live in another country?

absolutely! when this country inevitably falls apart in the wake of the 2020 election i will be contacting my stoner friends in canada and moving up there at my earliest convenience <3

28. do you like to watch ghost hunting shows?

i never have but i would probably find them entertaining

29. who was the last person you said i love you to? 

kei my friend kei my best friend kei <3 before that either my mom or my girlfriend lol

30. what’s something you’d like to be better at?

playing guitar!!!!! i wanna get back into it so bad i just don’t know where my picks are rn

31. have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? 

oh sure i have it’s been awhile though

32. what was the last thing you cooked?

scrambled eggs the other day ^-^

33. do you think you would make a good parent?

absolutely not and i will never have kids unless i decide to adopt after getting help 4 my issues and assuring that i could actually be responsible for another human life 

34. do you have trouble sleeping at night?

nah i have issues w waking up in the middle of the night sometimes but other than that i’m good

35. where is your best friend right now?

i don’t have one best friend one is at work one is in his home i presume and the other is at college <3

36. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

depends but usually like 20 mins? i don’t do makeup or anything so i can be ready in ten if i need to be

37. how late do you usually stay up at night?

until 10 or 11 lately!

38. when was the last time you cried and why?

uh good question i have shit memory but a few days ago over life stress probably lol

39. have you ever won a contest?

yes i won a costume contest in my elementary school when i was v little and i sort of won a contest to get my poetry published in my uh. sophomore year....summer between sophomore and junior year

40. can you draw well?

i can draw. the well is subjective ^_^

41. would you ever date someone you met on tumblr/the internet?

me n my girlfriend are long distance but i did not meet her on tumblr i think if i ever date someone on tumblr you all should require an essay from me on why it is an okay thing to do. i love my mutuals but some of the people on here...well you know

42. what was the last thing you ate?

snickers!

43. do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

ehhhhh i mean i’m certainly better than i used to be but tldr no. but i have issues so take that as you will

44. have you ever had a near death experience?

as in i physically came close to death and survived, no. but i was in a car crash a few yrs back that if anything had happened differently it could’ve killed us

45. what do you think people think of you?

idk i have a hard time reading intention and like. opinions of me? i think everyone puts up with my shit and wishes they didn’t have to lol

46. what is your middle name and do you like it?

my middle name is rowan and i love it cause i picked it myself i have no other middle names and i never have <3

47. are you close with either of your parents?

nnnnnnot really!

48. do you like yourself?

well i am the sexiest motherfucker alive but also i hate myself. i’m incredible and deserve better but also am horrible and deserve nothing. i’m the best and the worst at the same time <3

49. state five facts about your appearance

uhhhh my hair’s red, i’m short as fuck, i have blue eyes, i always wear hairties around my wrists, and i uhhhhh like wearing long sleeves. does that count??

50. state 5 facts about your personality

hm well i have no idea who i am as a person but? i’m creative, i like video games, i’m a pessimist, i spend a lot of time thinking/daydreaming, and i’m gay! the end <3 <3 <3

[a-cai-jpg]

“what do you think is the biggest issue plaguing our society?”

hm. capitalism? or this idea that life is a zero-sum game? or the blatant disregard for human life that isn’t our own? or the prioritization of our wants over other people’s needs?

READING LIST:

The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander Fatal Invention - Dorothy Roberts The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks - Rebecca Skloot The Case for Reparations - Ta-Nehisi Coates (and bruh, if you're too lazy to read a book, check out the nice Instagram graphics)

Today, I heard a song that I used to listen to a lot when I drove to and from work. In the past three months, memories of work have muddled and swelled and distorted until they become small snippets in my dreams that have increasingly made less sense as quarantine drags on. The frequency at which I speak of my students and teammates at the dinner table have decreased, even more so in the past week as the program ended and we are no longer obligated to get up around 9 in the morning and sit in a half hour to one hour call with each other.

Parts of me miss it. Although I like being able to lounge in bed until the sun is begging me to throw my covers off and wash my face, I am somewhat wistful for the structure that those days had offered me.

But the thing that gets me the most--the thing that makes me suddenly interrupt the comfortable silence in the ktichen with a sigh or the thing that makes me accidentally press the brakes a little too hard when I'm driving--is the fact that my work e-mail is now terminated. I now have no access to the lesson plans I've created for my students, the student profiles that I still sometimes think of when I'm alone and want to add to, the OneDrive that my laptop screen has been so accustomed to hosting. With a "Log-in Denied" screen, the disconnect between my students and I had become permanent.

Someone recently asked if I was going to write about my experience, and although in the beginning (like really beginning, like August 2019 beginning) I had planned on doing it, as time wore on, I realized how measly my written account would compare to the actual experience.

See, what made the experience worth it was the smallest, most trivial interactions with my students and my teammates. It was the delirious mornings before 7:15 AM, the semi-hysterical 10 minutes before 3:00 PM, the weariness of 4:30 PM when a student is still chatting and not leaving the classroom, and the restlessness of a Friday afternoon. It was when a student wandered into our classroom during class (uh oh) or right before the end of lunch just to update us about something or when a student showed up for our after school program and all of us cheer and the student takes an even longer detour to walk over to our table because they were lowkey embarrassed. Fuck, it's when a student fell off his chair laughing but the process of falling took over a minute so I didn't notice until he was physically on the floor, when another student and I hid in the back of the classroom to play Super Smash Bros and I was so stressed because I swore the substitute teacher knew we weren't doing schoolwork, when a student kept saying these two words that I didn't get and after asking him to repeat it so many times he was going "MISS STOP PLAYING" I realized he was saying "cookie jar," when a student tried to play Battleship against me but underestimated by psychic powers, when a student finally understood mRNA transcription and protein translation and gained confidence in himself and in biology as the year goes on, when a student was causing a ruckus but then we waved hi and he beamed at us and came up to greet us like we have made his day, when a student tried to tell me I have a chance in marrying Jackson Wang because we're about the same age, when a student screamed "Congratulations miss" across the classroom because he thought it would be appropriate for the beginning of English class, when a student conspired very obviously with my teammates to play "Happy Birthday" for me on my birthday, when a student found a two-person game to play with me even though I suck at computer games because he wanted to include me in whatever he was doing with his friends--see.

I can list all these memories, but what they actually mean wouldn't make sense to anyone but me and my teammates.

And there are other things that I can't really describe in a sentence. Like the contours of a connection with a student, how it starts off from hello's and compliments to their hair, and then becomes conversations about racism and sexism.

Sometimes I ask myself, Annette, you spent a year supposedly serving to alleviate inequity in schools. Why are you not talking more about whatever the clusterfuck is happening right now? The racism, the discrimination, the white supremacy clusterfuck that's apparently ripping apart families (to which I applaud).

In the beginning, I talked about systems and inequity a lot. I remember a friend and I literally sat in a Jollibee's all the way in West Covina, debating angrily and passionately about racism until the sun set. I would have lengthy text message conversations about it, sit in cars and talk and feel angry but also like I was doing something.

But fuck, as the school year went on, I just got more and more angry.

Fuck talking about it, I would think as I drove home near tears. Fuck talking about it if no one is going to do anything.

I suddenly hated talking about systemic inequity. It was just such a jarring feeling, sitting in a classroom discussing inequity and not fucking being able to do anything about it. I was so pissed that superintendents, policymakers, all these people with important titles would talk and talk and talk and fuck all would happen in the schools. I felt like a fucking hypocrite, talking to the students about systemic inequity and then not being able to do anything about a racist teacher or a punitive administrator. It was like fighting a damned uphill battle with just your 8-person team when it was promised that everyone else--schools, programs, fucking lawmakers--was fighting the same damned battle with you.

I was pissed that money and programs flood the schools, but fuck all is happening in the community or all the money is being used in the wrong places and there's inequity in literally whatever the fuck we were doing as we march into schools declaring that we're alleviating inequity.

And honestly, I'm still fucking pissed.

I ride a thin line between being an elitist about systemic inequities and having a holier-than-thou attitude and being fucking pessimistic about the world. It was sitting in that classroom, that I finally felt, for the first fucking time, utterly hopeless.

And it was a weird feeling, because I didn't really know how to talk to other people about it, because the fuck do I know about systemic inequity, living in my sheltered ethnic enclave, cruising through innocuous YouTube videos about sewing or some shit?

See, the thing I can't fucking stand about people who talk big ideals and policies and shit is that human beings become a statistic. They become a damned number or a martyr or a beneficiary.

Don't get me wrong--I'm a numbers, data-oriented person, and being able to have statistics to back up my claims about racism makes me feel safe. BUT why the fuck does a person have to become a damned statistic before they matter?

(yes i know there's a cause and effect that happens, but that's not right. no one should have to fucking die for people to realize damn, yeah this shit's messed up.)

I remember in sophomore year, I attended a race seminar, and was called in to chat with the two seminar leaders a little while after the seminar ended. After a while, I just kind of fell silent and stared at the table for a while, and one of them asked, "Annette, what are you thinking?"

And I said it fucking pissed me off that people die and become a statistic and then suddenly so-called change happens and people start caring but what about that person who died? And maybe it was the first time that I fully recognized the value of a human life and the potential of a human life, and that was why I was so distraught. Because I had been seeing Black men killed by police as a damned statistic, but during that week when all we did was talk about race and protests and riots and Ferguson, all I could think about was what if Michael Brown hadn't died, what he could have done and what color he would have had in his life.

This is such an elementary and rudimentary point to make, but fuck, people don't get it. A human life matters.

Period.

A human life matters.

So what if there is a criminal record? So what if he isn't a college graduate? So what if she is a sex worker? So what if they were intoxicated and in a stolen car? Fuck you, none of that constitutes a fucking death sentence, and who the fuck are you to indict them anyways?

(wow this took an unexpected turn.)

But.

I think it's important to talk about systems. To recognize the political implication of the BLM movement, to understand the historical and political context of racism. You can't fight systemic racism without that understanding. But all of it has to be rooted in viewing each person as a full human with full dignity. There cannot be White saviors in politics, fucking old, White men who are honestly both sexist and racist being hailed as heroes because they're fighting for minority rights like no calm the fuck down that's literally what they're supposed to do.

Like yes applaud them but fuck, applaud the minority women in Congress who are doing so much fucking more.

I think everyone needs to have that kind of reckoning, where they sit and fucking realize that damn yeah, Black people or poor people or trans people or gay people or fucking women are like.

People.

With potential and dignity and life and are wholly deserving of potential and dignity and life.

And to have that cut short by something that was a product of the very fucking system created to strip away potential, dignity, and life is unjust and not something that should be ignored.

And once you have that kind of reckoning, you can move on to understanding the system and how American history was literally shaped by racist, White men with the overarching goal of creating a society where they would always be in power.

And maybe the two learning processes have to happen in conjunction. It probably should happen in conjunction. But regardless of how it happens, nobody should just sit back and say "Yeah, I'm a good person, it sucks that so and so was killed or arrested," because that does fuck all.

If you can't do anything about it, at least feel fucking pissed about it, so pissed that if one day someone said something dumb as fuck, you will have the courage to tell them they are fucking dumb as fuck.

(ok maybe don't put it that way, but honestly, if you're righteously angry, who can determine how you are to show your anger?)

READING LIST:

We Were Eight Years in Power - Ta-Nehisi Coates The Health Gap - Michael Marmot The Color of Law - Richard Rothstein

(books to be read by me)

[sadmmann]

Corey DePooter Facts

Name: Corey Tyler DePooter

Date of birth: 3 March 1982 (Pisces)

Date of death: 20 April (17 years old)

Class: Junior

Relatives: Neal Roger DePooter (father), Patricia Jo DePooter (mother), Jena Elaine DePooter (younger sister), Fern Hamilton (maternal grandmother)

Fishing – arguably Corey’s favorite activity, a hobby that started in childhood and became a lifelong passion. He loved the outdoors, he taught his sister fly fishing and they often ventured into their own private world along a mountain stream at the family's favorite camping spot near Buena Vista. He also taught his friend Austin Eubanks how to fly fish, and Austin taught Corey bass fishing. The greatest trip of their life was a fishing trip to Oklahoma where Austin is originally from. Although the trip started out horribly with such mishaps as Corey’s keys being locked in his green Ford truck the night before and a snowstorm, the two friends prevailed and reached their destination. During this trip, Corey caught the biggest fish of his life - a 7-pound bass, and left good impressions on Austin’s grandfather and uncles. Fishing was a major aspect of their friendship, and Austin lost the passion for it after losing Corey. Corey’s death derailed Austin emotionally. After fleeing the library in which his friend was murdered and encountering his father, he broke down in tears and said “They killed Corey.” After being treated with opioids to alleviate his physical pain he became a drug addict due to finding out that said opioids had another effect, numbing down emotional pain. Fortunately, many years later Austin found lasting sobriety and now helps others with similar predicaments, and he came back to fishing in recovery, a change that he is very grateful for.Reflecting on their shared passion, Austin said the following – “It’s something I do to connect with Corey. It's always nice whenever I catch a fish that's above the normal or something special about it. I always tend to look up and give a nod to him. And I know he’s still looking out for me.

 Golf – not only did he like to play it, he actually had a part time job at a local golf course. He wanted to raise enough money to buy a fishing boat so he could take his friends and grandfather fishing. He left the school’s wrestling team in part because of this part time job, but also in order to have more time for studying and keeping his grades up. His golf shoes were among the mementos displayed at his memorial service and his golf buddies’ quotes are included further down.

Wrestling – he was on his school’s wrestling team but left after his sophomore year in order to study more and work a part time job. He dreamed of becoming a star wrestler among other things. His wrestling jersey was among the mementos displayed at his memorial service. His friend Austin Eubanks called him “an outstanding athlete’’ and wrestlers from another school recalled meeting him a year prior to the shooting. Corey was roughly 6 feet tall (182, 88 cm).

School – he put school work above everything else and enjoyed school life. He felt frustrated after missing out on school due to complications from a dental appointment; his wisdom teeth were removed in 1999. He wanted to attend a good college, his friend Austin described him as smart enough to earn a scholarship to college and it seems engineering was his choice. He was studying in the school library on the day of the shooting in order to keep his grades up. Good grades were also a condition set by his parents after he expressed his desire to buy a Mustang car.

United States Marine Corps – he was very patriotic and wanted to join the US Marine Corps after college. He had pamphlets about them and was reading a book about their history.  Several family members have served in various branches of the US Military. One grandfather served in the Army Air Corps during World War II and another one in the Air Force during the Korean and Vietnam wars, his father served in the Army and an aunt also served in the army during Desert Storm". After his death, his grieving mother participated in the Toys-for-Tots program organized by the USMC and donated some of Corey’s fishing gear. His grandmother contacted the USMC to ask if anything could be done about her grandson’s dashed dream and so, on May 3, 2000 during a ceremony at his gravesite, Marine Air Control Squadron 23 (now defunct) made him an honorary Marine. During the ceremony, Sgt. Ricardo Davila said that “Sometimes people don't get the chance to do the things they want to do in life. This gives Corey that chance". Corey’s friend, schoolmate and hunting buddy Brian Saltzman said that "Corey would have made an excellent Marine and would have been a fine officer." He also recalled that Corey would always play cops in the game “cops and robbers” and admit to any wrongdoing if stopped by the police for speeding. One can find a photograph of an emotionally overwhelmed Brian weeping during the ceremony.

 Other - hobbies include hunting, parasailing, hiking, cross country (he was on the school’s team and so was Daniel Mauser, both boys were killed, one after another), boarding and inline skating (he was capable of incredible stunts according to friends). As for food, he liked pork chops and chocolate milk. He wanted to have at least three children and share his Christian faith with them. His mother described him as a good dancer, she taught her children how to dance and her last dance with Corey was on the night before he was killed, a moment she now considers to be very special for her. He also participated in a video production that was like a play of sorts in which he cross-dressed as Josephine Bonaparte.

[candyshua]

Intertwined | Chapter One - Spilt Coffee

hey guys!! sorry for the inactivity. to make it up, i decided to start writing a multi-part fic!! this is a mingyu x reader x jeonghan love triangle. enjoy!!

Kim Mingyu was your best friend, your knight in shining armor, your crush, your everything. But sadly, you were not his.

After getting his girlfriend pregnant in his fourth year of college, the two of them moved away to America after graduation. And then, you were all alone.

Meet Yoon Jeonghan, your current best friend. An aspiring video game designer, he has been your rock for 5 years. He helped you through so much drama. You would be surprised to learn that he was madly in love with you.

What happens when Mingyu comes back to Korea? 

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Potential Smut (I haven’t decided yet)

Warnings: Alcohol, foul language, pregnancy

Word count: 2,250

-

Chapter One - Spilt Coffee

Your back was starting to hurt. After sitting on that uncomfortable chair in that cramped cubicle for so long, you felt your body start to ache. You tied your hair up into a ponytail, fully aware that you weren’t going to go home until you got this stupid project done.

“Bye, Y/N!” Your boss, Wonwoo, bid to you as he walked out of his office and on to the elevator. You merely hummed him a goodbye, too preoccupied with your work.

You worked in the media department of a phone cable company. You write commercials, ads, anything that can get your product bought. It can be tedious at times, just like now. It’s especially tedious with you, since you’re the world’s biggest procrastinator. So, you’re pulling an all-nighter to finish proofreading this commercial so it can be sent to headquarters.

Sometimes, you felt disappointed with yourself. Your life amounted up to this--an office job. You also had a one bedroom apartment, which wasn’t too bad. It just never felt like home, nothing ever did.

You sighed, groaning frustratedly. “Get this done, Y/N.” You said to yourself. You then cracked your knuckles, swallowed another mouthful of coffee, and started typing away.

-

You arrived home at 3 AM. Lucky for you, it was a Friday.

Within minutes of arriving in your quaint apartment, you collapsed onto your couch, not even having enough energy to make it to your bedroom. You then smiled, thinking of that one time where Mingyu and you got home so late during sophomore year that you weren’t allowed to see each other for a whole month. You still saw each other anyway.

Then, you felt your heart get heavier, remembering where your dear friend Mingyu was right now. He’s in America, with his kid, and his girlfriend. Hell, she’s probably his wife now.

And you’re stuck here, in Korea, with no boyfriend, car, or family. You have your parents, but they’re too busy worrying about your little sister who’s getting in trouble at college right now to even acknowledge your existence. What did your existence mean anyway? Was it even worth a dime? Sometimes, it felt like you were watching your life pass you by. Days turned into months, and months turned into years. Yet you, you were still the same. Sure, you grew up, both emotionally and physically, but deep down you’re still that lovesick girl that lets little things get to her head way too much.

You sighed, running your fingers through your messy ponytail, trying to subdue the knots. You heard your phone ring, which brought you out of your depressive trance. You picked it up the moment you saw the caller ID, already fed up.

“Yes, Jeonghan?” You groaned, knowing what the next two words were going to be.

“I’m drunk!” Yup. You were right.

“Where are you?” You sighed, already getting up and getting your bus pass ready. Although you didn’t have a car, you always walked Jeonghan home when he was drunk.

“I’m at my apartment. Could you come here please?” Jeonghan pouted, and you physically cringed when you pictured his face in your mind. He was probably doing some drunken puppy eyes.

“You got drunk by yourself? Why’d you involve me in this? Just go--”

“Hyesung broke up with me.” Jeonghan sighed, and you swallowed.

“On my way.”

-

You knocked on his door very lightly, hoping not to wake any of his neighbors. You heard Jeonghan’s clumsy steps, and you watched the doorknob fumble multiple times until it was finally unlocked. The moment Jeonghan met your eyes, his mood immediately brightened. A drunken smile broke out on his face, and you inwardly vomited due to the putrid smell of alcohol.

Jeonghan is 28, and he is your best friend. You met him through your job, but he quit a while ago to go and follow his dream of video game designing. He wasn’t doing too bad actually, his apartment was nice. It was mellow, but you weren’t one to judge apartments, since your apartment basically screamed “depression”. You are 27, just a year younger than your best friend.

Jeonghan often calls you when he’s drunk, and you have no idea why. He often wakes you up in the middle of the night just so you could walk him home. If this was anybody else except Jeonghan, you wouldn’t do it.

You walked inside his apartment and threw your coat on the couch. You walked to his kitchen, which wasn’t a separate room from his dining area, and got a can of beer.

“Bad day?” Jeonghan asked, and you just nodded while walking toward his couch. You plopped down, sprawling your limbs across the piece of furniture.

“What happened with her?” You asked, and Jeonghan just scoffed.

“She cheated on me...Multiple times. It’s okay though, our relationship wasn’t serious.” Jeonghan explained, and you frowned while sipping on your beer.

“But you really liked her…” You argued, and he gave you a sad smile.

If only you knew, Jeonghan thought.

“It’s fine. Why was your day bad?” Jeonghan asked. You could tell he was tired by the way he blinked. Each time he closed his eyes it would take longer for them to open.

“Don’t worry about me, go to bed. I’ll sleep on the couch, okay?”

“Mmm.” Jeonghan murmured. With slumped shoulders, he trudged to his bedroom and closed his door. You sighed slightly, ignoring the pain in your chest. Why did your heart hurt so much? Did it hurt for Jeonghan?

That answer seemed simple enough, so you decided to agree with it. You then lied down on the couch with your hands under your head. You ignored the sudden anxiety that had bubbled in your stomach and closed your eyes wearily. You had so many things to worry about, like work, Jeonghan, bills, your apartment...Yet, you never seemed to worry about yourself. You could never, though. That’s because it would require actually reflecting on your past, and everything you’ve done. Or, haven’t done.

-

The weekend went by in a cloudy haze, but everything seemed to go by like that nowadays. You didn’t really feel alive anymore, and you don’t know exactly when this haziness seemed to start. Everything was numb, nothing caused you to feel. Things were automatic, you did everything without thinking. You wake up, go to work, go home, make dinner, and then go to bed. It’s a constant cycle of hell. The only time you’d feel remotely alive was when you’re with Jeonghan, but he’s got his own shit to deal with.

The thing that hurts the most is that you’re absolutely and utterly alone. You wake up with no one by your side. Your biggest fear is dying right now, at this age. What mark would you leave on the world? It would be a small, insignificant one. There’d be a memorial service at your work, and your family plus Jeonghan would miss you, but that would be it.

Were you destined to be a nobody?

-

You were young once. You were young and happy, not a care in the world. Well, that’s a lie, you cared about one thing.

Kim MIngyu.

Mingyu was a breath of fresh air. After having so much pressure put on you by your parents, you felt like you could finally breathe around the 6’2 boy. He always had that effect on people, he was just an energy-giver.

Your friendship never once faded, even after his countless amounts of girlfriends. You had a thing for him in early high school, but it turned into full-blown love senior year. You’d watch him walk around with his girlfriend, feeling nothing but pain in your heart.

You never took his earlier girlfriends seriously, because you thought he would realize one day that he was madly in love with you. And then, he would kiss you passionately and apologize for not coming to you sooner. Alas, that never happened.

Your feelings just got worse.

And when you both got into Seoul University, you watched him prance around with his new girlfriend, Ra Jieun. From then on, things went into the gutter.

And here you are now, without Mingyu. You’re well over him now, you’ve actually had your fair share of boyfriends these past few years. It was just the “what could have been?” aspect.

Sadly, you would never know.

-

You woke up to the sound of a shower being turned on. Light peeked through Jeonghan’s windows, and you groaned internally. At least it was a Saturday.

You grabbed your phone, checking the time. 9:22 AM. Didn’t you go to bed at 4 AM? This was fucking ridiculous.

This time, you actually groaned out loud when you got up, walking slowly to Jeonghan’s kitchen. You poured yourself some cereal with some gross skin milk. You ate it mindlessly, watching Jeonghan walk from his bathroom to his bedroom, with the most pained expression on his face. Poor guy, you thought, he’s probably so hungover right now.

The thing about Jeonghan’s apartment is that you could never possibly get bored. He has herds of video games, literally starting from as early as to when they were invented.

He also has every gaming console known to man. His spare bedroom was used as a gaming room, where he’d stream his new games from time to time. Jeonghan was a computer genius, and you were insanely jealous since you weren’t so tech savvy yourself.

Jeonghan finally came out of his room, fully dressed, with wet hair. Jeonghan had dyed light brown hair, with dark brown eyes and tall stature. He was slim yet muscular. You could never deny that your best friend was indeed extremely handsome.

You smiled when you saw his face, and he returned a pained grin back. “Have some cereal.” You suggested with a quiet tone, and he gave you a small smile.

You let him eat by himself, because you went into his gaming room to check out what new video games he has added to his collection.

After playing a few easy video games for a bit, Jeonghan came in and sat down on the black leather couch in the already dark room. The only source of light was the light emitting from the computer screen, and the window. He never turned on the overhead light in that room, for some reason.

“Whatchya doin’?” Jeonghan asked, and you shrugged.

“Just playing around.” You murmured, earning a nod from Jeonghan.

Soon, the two of you found yourselves in a video game match. Jeonghan had multiple computers in that room, so you both partook in an adventure of competition. Jeonghan beat you every single time, but it was kind of unfair since he was an actual video game designer.

You found yourself appreciating Jeonghan more and more as you got closer to him. You really were so lucky to have such a good friend like him, because nobody knows where you would be if Jeonghan wasn’t there to help you get over the boyfriends you had, your quarter-life crises, or your financial dilemmas. Jeonghan was your rock. You hoped he felt the same about you.

“Jeonghan,” You began, “we should do something. Like, go on a trip or something.” That earned an odd look from the man, and he furrowed his eyebrows curiously.

“That was random.” He said.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know. I just thought we should do something nice, since you’re like, my best friend.” You pouted, resulting in an adorable chuckle from the man next to you.

“Okay, sure. Where do you want to go?” Jeonghan asked. You merely shrugged your shoulders, your frown deepening.

“Let me come up with something. Give me some time.”

Jeonghan nodded.

-

You remembered the first time you felt feelings for Mingyu. As a kid, you were late to hit puberty. So, girls who were larger than you would steal your money and other possessions.

There was one time where you were walking home from school, and these three girls jumped you. It was around the eighth grade, so you were still a tiny little thing. No matter how much you kicked and screamed, they would not stop.

Suddenly, Mingyu came out of nowhere. Mingyu was the opposite of you, he bloomed very early. Therefore, he was a tall and confident man. You will never forget the look of anger in his eyes on that day. “HEY!” Mingyu screamed, running toward you.

The girls dropped everything they stole from you and then bolted, murmuring rushed apologies and words of regret. By then, you and Mingyu were already best friends.

“Thanks, Gyu.” You sighed, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Your voice cracked when you tried to talk again, and soon you were breaking down in front of him.

You sat against the brick wall the girls bullied you by, hugging your knees to your chest. You just sobbed, and let yourself be held by Mingyu. “I’m so sick of this,” You hiccuped, “I’m so sick of being pushed around!”

“Hey, Y/N...You’ll always have me, alright?” Mingyu reassured, giving you a sad smile. You wiped the tears from your face and sniffled slightly.

“Alright.”

From the summer of eighth grade to ninth grade, you grew 5 inches and gained a few pounds, resulting in your chest and bosom to be much bigger than before. Needless to say, you attracted a lot of boys.

Alas, there was only one boy in your heart.

[sinegardians]

(high school) freshman advice from an incoming sophomore :)

these are all tips and things i wish someone had told me before i started my freshman year. some i had to learn by myself, others were just little things that got me through my first year. that being said, this is all a matter of opinion. whatever works for you, do it!

go to freshman orientation! it honestly helped me get used to the school and they showed us where our halls and classes are, and our principals and teachers. we also did a lot of fun mini games and icebreakers that introduced a lot of new people even before school started. (plus, depending on your school, there might even be a dance after, which is always fun;))

have your schedule and times of class periods as your phones screensaver for the first weeks of school, or at least til you memorize it. it’ll help you get to classes on time even if you take a potty break during passing periods.

don’t be one of those people who walk, single file with friends, down the hallways. or even worse, stop in the middle of the halls and talk to friends. it’s annoying, and quick way for someone to yell at you.

don’t be afraid to ask upperclassmen for help, whether it’s about a subject you’re having trouble with, or finding your classes. they’re not as scary as you think, and they’ll understand.

join clubs and extracurriculars! orchestra, band, theater, art, debate, yearbook club, photography etc. whatever interests you. it’s a great way to make new friends and interests. don’t be afraid to try out for clubs because you don’t think you’ll make it. if you make it? great! good job. if you don’t? great! there’s always next year and it’ll give you more time to learn and practice.

GO TO FOOTBALL GAMES!!!!! LEARN YOUR SCHOOL CHANTS AND SONGS !!!!! a lot of my best freshman memories took place in football games. even if you’re not necessarily interested in the sport, yelling and cheering along with your school and the band is a nice reliever. if you don’t know your school chants/fight songs, they’re usually posted in your schools website, or you can ask a teacher/upperclassmen where you can learn it. you don’t have to go to every game, buuuuuuttt... HOMECOMING AND RIVALRY GAMES ARE THE BEST GAMES TO GO TO!

i’ve had to learn this the hard way, but DO NOT slack off freshman year, especially if you want to go to an out-of-state college. trust me, i slacked off hard freshman year, and my gpa and class rank plummeted. it’ll only get harder to bring it up, so do yourself a favor and start high school off strong, junior year you will thank you for it.

most of the time, teachers will allow you extra time for assignments and projects if you ask them one-on-one. just be nice and remember your manners. “im sorry but i have a band trip and i won’t have time” or “theater rehearsals are this week and my schedule is gonna be packed from other classes.” works fine.

if you have a teacher that doesn’t teach very well (it’ll happen) or you just have trouble learning that way, find another way to learn. for me, i audio record classes i have trouble in so i can go back and listen. you can also learn from videos on youtube. (khan academy, crash course, the amoeba sisters)

go to dances and banquets! they’re a lot of fun and you don’t have to go with a date. go with friends! go with parents! (it’s still cool to go to dances with parents, a lot of people do it don’t worry), or go by yourself!

it’s okay if the friends you’ve always had, start drifting off. high school is big and it’s normal. you can always keep in touch through social media, but don’t be afraid to make new friendships.

^^^^^ make some friends with sophomores or upperclassmen. i had a lot of sophomore friends during my freshman year, and they made high school a lot more fun. in my school, everyone could eat lunch off campus except freshman. but i didn’t mind as much cause my upperclassmen friends bought me food ;)

on the topics of friends, be open minded when meeting new people, you never know who is gonna end up being the person getting you through high school, so be nice and don’t be afraid of making friends who are different than you other friends.

everyone else might be in a relationship, but it’s not that important. spend more time exploring and getting used to high school (you are spending four years here after all) than looking for a possible partner. in my experience, i don’t really think a lot of people are ready for long term relationships at 14/15, and it’d be better to train your focus at other things. save dating for later.

DON’T !!! FORGET !!! YOUR !!! CHARGERS !!! AND !!! EARBUDS !!!

don’t forget to eat breakfast. you’ll need it.

if you’re doing a project/essay, use scholar.google.com much more reliable and useful information.

if your school blocks social media apps on school wifi and you can’t use your data, download a vpn app. all you have to do is download, log on to your school wifi like usual, and then turn the vpn app on, and you can get on whatever apps, no payment required. don’t abuse it though, stay focused during class and avoid using your phone too much.

it’s okay to ask your friends for answers to homework every now and then, but don’t make a habit of it. it not only will start to annoy your friends, but you’ll get too used to it and start depending on them for work.

talk to your councilors when you need to. whether it’s about your mental health, or if your schedule is just too much for you, their job is to make their their students have the best opportunities and health. (if your school is big and the councilors don’t have time (it’s okay, it happens) talk to a trusted teacher).

bring a book always! even if you have your phone, it’s always comforting to have a book in you backpack at all times.

be confident. even when it’s hard and you don’t know anyone and you’re scared. you’ll learn how to smile without it feeling forced. it takes time.

above all, have fun. high school will either go by fast, or slow. make the most of it, okay? you’re spending four years in the same building with the same people. you’ll get used to them, they’ll get used to you. just remember that whatever goals you want to achieve, valedictorian, salutatorian, first chair, whatever. i believe in you :) and i hope you believe in yourself. stop fantasizing about your success and run to it! even if there’s no way, and there’s hundreds of thousands of obstacles, break them all down until you become the person freshman-you would look up to.

[iliketowrite1996]

Tying Shoelaces and New Faces 15

TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEMES- Breaking up, taking a break, ignoring a significant other, insecurities, paranoia, disapproval of parent. 

once again, @chaneajoyyy was a huge help!

A break.

   That’s what you and T’Challa had decided on.

  ��A break.

   Well. that’s what you decided. That it’s best for you, him, and your relationship if you take a break. He’d reluctantly agreed, knowing that once you makeup your mind, there's little to no use in trying to persuade you away from your decision.    

So he finds himself distracting himself. It’s June and he’s enjoying walking around Wakanda with his family and friends.

   ‘’See that spot over there, Autumn,’’ Nakia tells their daughter, ‘’That used to be my favorite restaurant all of Wakanda. My parents took me there all of the time.’’

   ‘’Wow!,’’ Autumn looks up to her mother, ‘’Can we go there?’’

   ‘’Sure, as soon as my parents meet up with us.’’

   They’ve only been in Wakanda for two days, and Autumn is already fascinated by everything. Her eyes are wide as they walk through the streets. She sees people making clothing, weaving vibranium into it. She hear the sound of people laughing and bargaining to lower prices. She smells the spices and the foods that waft through the street. She tastes a hunger to learn more, even at four-years-old. She’s an explorer, just like her mother. T’Challa doubts she’ll stay in one place when she gets older. Just like her mother.

   But she’s four and she still has a lot of growing up to do, so T’Challa doesn’t even begin to entertain the thought of his baby girl leaving the nest any time soon.

   No, not yet.

   She’s fascinated with the kimoyo beads that Nakia is wearing, and she waves at her grandparents, both sets, as they alert them that they are on the way to meet them for lunch.

   T’Chaka rented out the private room of a restaurant as soon as the vacation plans were finalized.

   Right now, T’Challa doesn’t want t be bothered. The only people he can actually stomach being around are Autumn, and… well, that’s about it.

   N‘Jadaka and Sanaa have barely left their hotel room since they got here. And they're not even doing anything- just watching movies and ordering room service, enjoying their first vacation together.

   Ugh.

   His mother and baba are looking at all of the sights, reliving all of the good memories that they have made in their beautiful homeland.

   Shuri is always on her phone, instant messaging Peter about new ideas. When she’s not, truth, she’s hanging out with Autumn.

   Even his uncle N’Jobu has brought his newest girlfriend, a woman he grew up with here in Wakanda.

   It all makes T’Challa think one thing- he messed up with you, and he messed up big time.

   He just wishes that he could pinpoint the source of your insecurity, your discomfort with this relationship.

   ‘’Hey, cuz,’’ N’Jadaka speaks as he and Sanaa enter the  restaurant, hand in hand.

   ‘’Erik!.’’ Autumn cries as if she hadn't seen him only yesterday, pushing away from the table ,running and leaping into Erik’s arms.

   ‘’Hey, Little Bit! Have you grown since yesterday?!’’

   ‘’Mommy and baba say I’m getting bigger all of the time!,’’ Autumn nods enthusiastically, ‘’I can tie my shoes all by myself because baba’s girlfriend taught me!’’

   He does his best not to show how much hearing about you breaks his heart at the moment. He’s excellent at putting on facades, and so he does so now. He ignores the way Nakia glances at him and keeps it moving.

   ‘’She sure can tie her shoes! No more velcro straps for baba’s little girl!’’

   The rest of the family piles i, and , like most family dinners, it’s loud, hilarious, and more than a bit uncomfortable.    

   ‘’Shuri, your uncle N'Jobu has told me so much about you,’’ N’Jobu Udaku’s girlfriend stares, ‘’He says that you are looking to graduate early?’’

   ‘’I am,’’ Shuri sets her water glass down, ‘’I am due to graduate in December, and I have chosen to go to NYU in the spring, should I be accepted.’’

   At that, T’Chaka chokes on his own water, ‘’I thought your dream was to come here and go to the University of Wakanda?’’

   Shuri shrugs, nonchalantly, ‘’Things happen to change, baba.’’

   ‘’This wouldn't have to do with your nerdy boyfriend, would it,’’ N’Jadaka teases, but there’s a hint of seriousness to it.

   ‘’Peter has nothing to do with my decision. N’Jadaka,’’ she rolls her eyes playfully, ‘’I do know that he’s planning on going there but this decision was made without him in mind. I just feel like my calling may be there.’’

   ‘’Instead of here,’’ T’Chaka finishes for her, obviously upset.

   ‘’Rest assured, baba, I applied here as well. Where my path will actually end up taking me, I do not know. I just hope that you’d all be supportive,’’ the second youngest member of the Udaku family says pointedly.

   The tension is quite thick and could be cut with a knife. Thankfully, Nakia’s mother breaks the silence.    

   ‘’And who is this lovely girl, N’Jadaka,’’ the older woman eyes Sanaa.

   ‘’This is my girlfriend, Sanaa,’’ N’Jadaka states proudly, ‘’We’ve been dating for almost a year. It'll be a year in November.’’

   ‘’Then it’s not almost a year,’’ Sanaa jokes, ‘’It’s only June!’’

   ‘’Why you do me like that?’’

   ‘’As you can seem,’’ N’Jobu states, ‘’They are a match made perfectly. I’ve never seen anyone that can match N’Jadaka’s intelligence, humor, and pettiness.’’

   ‘’Hey!,’’ the two lovebird chorus.

   ‘’Baba, what’s pettiness,’’ Autumn questions, the almost-five-year-old looking up at her baba in confusion.

   ‘’Intomba, pettiness is what you and your cousin Erik and Miss Sanaa are both very good at.’’

   Autumn is without a doubt the most loving child. She’s the sweetest person that T’Challa has ever met in his life. However, his little girl is a tad bit petty, and he doesn’t know if N’Jadaka or Shuri are to blame.

   ‘’Ohh, okay,’’ the kindergartner needs, satisfied with hat answer.

   ‘’So, Sanaa, what do you do for a living,’’ Nakia’s dad questions.

   ‘’Oh, she’s  a middle school teacher,’’ T’Chaka states, turning to Nakia, ‘’Isn’t that something that you were interested in as well?’’

   ‘’Yes.When I was 14,’’ Nakia says politely yet pointed, ‘I’m sorry, Sanaa, what do you teach?’’

   ‘’I teach sixth, seventh, and eighth grade science. In the accelerated program. I’m also the coach of the dance team,’’ she admits, ‘’And I’m trying to get a workshop started to help girls improve their self-esteem, and eventually for boys, too.’’

   ‘’Looks like you  have a lot going for yourself,’’ Ramonda responds with a soft smile,unaware as to how talented and well-rounded her nephew’s girlfriend interests are.

   ‘’That’s a matter of opinion.’’

   ‘’To be fair, Mr. Udaku,’’ Sanaa turns to T’Chaka, ‘’I do what I do because I care about helping the children. Not impressing anyone else.’’

   The awkwardness comes back, and as usual, two people at the table are completely oblivious- T’Challa and Autumn.

   And, really, only the four-year-old has the excuse.

   So again, T’Challa is one step further from seeing the true cause of tension in your relationship.

   He’s two steps further from doing anything about it.

   And he’s three steps further from ever winning you back…

   Until he makes the step in the right direction.

   That’s what you’re screwing over now as you spread out your ingredients, separating the dry items from the  wet items. You’ve already baked a peach cobbler, a banana pudding, and an apple pie.

   You’re getting started on your fourth dessert when your phone rings. You sigh, wiping your hands on your apron and answering the call.

   ‘’Hello?’’

   ‘’Hey, girl. How have you been.’’

   That velvety, familiar, smooth voice makes you freeze instantly, but a smile spreads across your face like butter on a roll-easily and meant to be there.

   ‘’Hey, Lucas! How have you been?’’

   ‘’Oh, you know, here and there. Where the road takes me. But I’m in town tonight. Gonna be here for about a week. Was wondering’ if I could maybe see you tonight?’’

   Here’s how it usually goes- you and Lucas have been friends since freshman year of college. He sat next to you in the dining hall, started talking about how boring your shared class of freshman level English was, and you’ve been friends ever since. He is the definition of handsome in your book- his round, brown eyes are soulful. His ‘’coffee with cream’’ (his words, not your own)  skin stretches across a defined jaw and his curls always look bright and moisturized.

   You’ve always found him attractive, and he’s always thought you were beautiful. He has told you so on many occasions, none of which wherever appropriate. Such as when you and a group of friends went to your college’s homecoming dance and he told you, ‘’You’re always stunning’’. In front of your date. And his.

   Not to mention the time that he blurted it out in math class when you two were supposed to eb solving problems given by your professor together.

   Then again, subtlety has never been his strong suit. If he likes something, the world will soon know. If he dislikes something, he turns into the town crier and shoots it out for all to hear. He’s always been like that concerning politics, social events, movies, music, food, people…

   And especially you.

   Maybe that’s why the two of you have a… history together.

   He asked you out the summer between your freshman and sophomore year of college. It was a spur of the moment thing, as far as you were concerned. Little did you know that he’d been planning it for a while.

   See, he was gonna be all romantic. He was gonna get you flowers and dress up real nice and ask you at the charity banquet that you were attending with him that night.

   Instead, he asked you that morning, when you were sitting on his couch, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt and playing video games with him.

   He is not ashamed to admit that, as typical as it may sound, he had never seen you look so beautiful.

   The two of you dated for five years after that, and breaking up was the hardest thing. But he wanted to travel and work for his mother's charity, and that wasn’t your life. SO you broke up, but you remain friends. It’s why you can understand how T’Challa is friends with Nakia.

   Then again, you never married Lucas and had a kid with him, and his parents never made you feel awful while he sat there and did nothing.

   But that’s a duty for a different day.

   You agree, requesting for an hour to change and dress up. You quickly store the baked goods, clean your area, and rush off to the bathroom.

   After a quick wash up, you step into the same dress that you wore to the gala with T’Challa. Your makeup is done in that smoky eye look you know Lucas loves and your lipstick is fire engine red.

   He’s knocking on the door by the time that you’re slipping into your heels, and you answer it with a smile.

   ‘’How do you manage to look more and more sunning every time I see you?!’’

   You laugh at that, hugging him and kissing his cheek as he does the same to you, ‘’I should be asking you the same thing! Who you modeling for? Come on, show me that runway walk.’’

   Lucas does his best to put on a mini fashion show for you, strutting up and down the living room a few times before you both dissolve into laughter.

   ‘’Oh, I’ve missed you,’’ you hug him again, ‘’I’ve got so much to catch you up on!’’

   ‘’You sure do,’’ he raises an eyebrow, ‘’You’re dating THE T’Challa Udaku? Moving on up from me, huh?’’

   The bitter taste that began the night you decided that you and T'Challa needed a break returns, and you nearly feel sick to your stomach.

   Lucas catches on fairly quickly, and attempts to amend the situation before it can burst apart any further, ‘’Or we don’t have to talk about it. We can talk about anything else. You can get your mind off of him for one night.’’

   ‘’That would be lovely,’’ you sigh, grabbing your purse, keys, and the phone.

   You take the arm that he offers, looping your arm through his.    

   You’re ready for a night on the town, and to have fun at this charity event as Lucas’ impromptu date. You’re ready to kick your heels off and dance with him, inevitably when anything that you two danced to in college comes on.

   But most importantly, you’re ready to forget about T’Challa.

   At least for one night.

   Because forgetting about him at all is a task in and of itself.

   ‘’Nakia, where are we going again?’’

   T’Challa has had his phone turned off all day. Just to resist the urge to text you. He saw you post a few f the cakes and pies and treats that you made last night on social media, and he know that this means one thing: you’re stressed.

   He’s most likely the cause of that stress…

   But he simply wishes to know why that is.    

   ‘’I told you. You need to be distracted from your phone and I’ve got someone that I want you to meet.’’

   ‘’I want to spend time with my daughter.’’

   ‘’She’s literally asleep, T’Challa. So is your girlfriend,’’ she shrugs, ‘’Now come on.’’

   He begrudgingly follows his ex-wife into the restaurant, wishing that he was at home, asleep, just like his daughter. In his own bed and away from other people that he really, eally doesn’t want to be interacting with because they are not you. 

   Until he sees who it is he’s meeting.

   Nakia and T’Challa made one trip to Wakanda right before she discovered that she was pregnant with Autumn. She introduced him to her friends Ayo, W’Kabi, and M’Baku, and he introduced her to Okoye. The small group of friends now has a group chat, meets up whenever one or more of them are in the same area, and just generally keeps in touch.

    But seeing them all here together after five years?

   That’s something special.

   So hugs are given and polite greetings are exchanged. Hands clap backs and cheeks are kissed and everyone is son sitting down at the table, the six friends catching up.

   ‘’How’s my favorite little girl?,’’ Okoye questions, leaning into W’Kabi.

   ‘’She’s doing well. She’s excited to start kindergarten.,’’ Nakia begins.

   ‘’She also apparently has a boyfriend. Tony Stark’s kid.’’

   ‘’Aww, they grow up so face,’’ Ayo chuckles for, her spot next to ,M’Baku.

   ‘’I’m sorry, I just can’t help but notice this new couple alert,’’ T’Challa raises an eyebrow as he gestures at W’Kabi and Okoye, ‘’When?’’

   ‘’Two months ago,’’ W’Kabi answers.

   ‘’Officially two months ago. We began seeing each other, and, well, others, four months prior to that.’’

   ‘’Okay, I see you,’’ Nakia chuckles, already picking up on Sanaa and yours habits.

   ‘’Anyway,’’ M’baku begins, ‘’So, where are N’Jadka and his girlfriend?’’

   ‘’Aww, I knew ya’ll would be bored without us.’’

   As if on cue, N’Jadaka and Sanaa stroll in, hand in hand.    

   And T’Challa is happy for his cousin and Sanaa, he really is. He just can't help but think that could have been the two of you had he brought you to Wakanda.

   You assume that he’s ashamed of you. He’s not. He is so in love with you, and he wants the world to know.

   The reason he didn’t invite only on this trip?

   Nakia.

   No, there’s nothing happening between him and Nakia. For reasons he’s still not completely aware of, that relationship sunk along time ago. It’s for the best, though, because you make him happy.

   But Nakia was his first real love and the mother of his child. So when she suggested this trip to Wakanda, he agreed. They both agreed to raise Autumn together, as much as they can do that with how often Nakia is away. So any time the three of them can manage to spend some time together, they go for it. He didn't invite you not so you wouldn’t get in the way of him and Nakia…

   Instead, it was because he wanted to be as present as possible. Nakia will be taking care of Autumn for all of July. He will miss his baby girl’s fifth birthday, her experience events that only take place in Wakanda, and so much more. Nakia also does not get enough time with Autumn. She knows Autumn adores you, and you adore her. So maybe, just maybe, he feared Autumn would give you more attention than Nakia and he wanted to prevent all parties from being hurt.

   Now that he’s thinking about it, if he had communicated this to you, you probably would have seen his side of things and agreed.

   He thinks about that all night, stewing over it even as his friends and cousin enjoy their dinner. He’s participating, though. He laughs and jokes with them.

   He just can't stop thinking about you, though.

   It’s when dessert is near that Nakia gets a call and excuses herself outside.

   When she returns, she’s holding the hand of a man who is about the same height as T’Challa, with dark skin and kinky curls.

   ‘’Hello, everyone. This is Kevin. My boyfriend.’’

   Oh. Her boyfriend.

   So that’s who she’s been giggling about when she’s messaging.

   T'Challa is the first to stand, bringing the other man in for a hug, ‘’It’s nice to meet you. I’m T’Challa.’’

   T’Challa is very much someone who likes his boundaries, but he can’t help himself. This is the man that makes Nakia happy, because she wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t. So if he makes Nakia happy, well, then, he’s good enough for T’Challa.

   So more greetings and pleasantries are changed. Then T’Challa, N’Jadaka, Sanaa, Nakia, Kevin, Ayo, M’Baku, W'Kabi and Okoye have dessert and talk and laugh some more.

   T’Challa goes back to his room in high spirits that night, grateful for the distraction. He decides it’s time to message you. To tell you that he wants to speak to you when he gets home.

   Instead, he goes to social media.

   There, he sees a candid photo of you and some man he doesn't know, but you two obviously know each other.

   He can see it in the way the man’ hand is reign on the small of your back. He is looking at you with an expression akin to adoration as you throw your head back, laughing.

   Okay. So that’s how it is.

   He tries not to be hurt. After all, you two are on a break, right? You can have guy friends.

   Or… did a break turn into a break up real quick and he didn’t notice?

   He asks the same question to N’Jadaka at breakfast the next day, pulling his cousin aside to consult him.

   ‘’Bruh. BRUH. What, are we in high school again? You’re worried over nothing. This is a picture, T’Challa.’’

   ‘’A picture speaks, a thousand words, N’Jadaka.’’

   ‘’And what are the saying to you, then, cousin,’’ N’Jadaka crosses his arms in front of himself.    

   ‘’They’re lying to me, I’d better do something to see how to resolve my relationship. And fast.’’

   DISCLAIMER- I OWN NO MARVEL CHARACTERS, OR THEIR FICTIONAL WORLD,S UNIVERSES, CITIES OR COUNTRIES. I own Autumn, Sanaa, Kevin and Lucas as my original characters. 

@ashanti-notthesinger​ @destinio1​ @afraiddreamingandloving​ @starsshines-blog​ @airis-paris14​ @syreanne​ @chaneajoyyy​ @90sinspiredgirl​ @shemiahsmelanin @zillmonger @skysynclair19 @bidibidibombaclaat @marvelpotterlove @constantlycravingtheunknown @imaginewhoever @wakanda-inspired @pocmarvelworks @theunsweetenedtruth @dreampovx @adrioola21

SNEAK PEEK OF NEXT CHAPTER- TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEMES: Mentions of pregnancy, parental disapproval of significant other, insecurity, revenge, and pettiness. 

You know what you’re doing is petty and wrong, but you don’t too much mind right now. T’Challa has definitely been watching your story on social media. Which definitely means that he’s seeing your pictures.

    Okay, let’s get one thing straight. It’s not your attention to hurt T’Challa. Or maybe it is , because he’s hurting you… you don’t know. You just know that Lucas has come along for a visit and he's making you feel extra special. It’s why you’re posting different pics with him. It started off innocent enough but this last post…

    It was out of pure malice.

    It features Lucas whispering something in your ear, and you’re eyes are cast down, smiling shyly.

    ‘’You know you’re wrong for this right,’’ Lucas tells you, lounging across your couch and scrolling through his own social media feed.

    ‘’I know, I know. I’ll delete it,’’ you sigh, raising your thumb to do just that.

    ‘’Delete it because you want to. Not because I told you it was petty and childish.’’

    ‘’You ain’t say all that!’’

    ‘’My facial expression did!,’’ he points at his unamused face, to which you roll your eyes.

    ‘’Babe,’’ he sits up, using the nickname he uses on you, Sanaa… all of his close female friends, ‘’Does he even know why you’re mad?’’

    ‘’He should! He acts like he doesn’t know what his dad is doing.’’

    ‘’Okay, here me out,’’ Lucas raises his hands in front of himself,’’Maybe… he really doesn’t see it.’’

    ‘’How could he not see the fact that his dad doesn’t like me?!’’

    ‘’From what you tell me, T’Challa idolizes his dad. He wants to be as good as a dd and as good as a husband and as good as a businessman as eh sees his dad being.’’   

    ‘’And?’’

    ‘’And… he idolizes him, yeah? So he probably doesn't see his flaws as clearly as someone who is able to see T’Chaka Udaku for what he is-a flawed human. Just like the rest of that.’’

    Your bite your bottom lip and focus your eyes on the photo of you and Sanaa in college that hangs on the wall, wondering why you didn’t think of this before.

    ‘’Besides. I don’t think you're mad at him,’’  Lucas leans back, ‘’I think you're mad at yourself and you don’t know if you can trust him.’’

    ‘’Oh, you’re the expert now,’’ you try to keep the venom form your voice, ‘’Do tell me why.’’

    ‘’You were hesitant because you know T’Challa and Nakia still love each other, even if they aren't in love with each other, and they are taking their daughter on vacation. Strike one.’’

    ‘’Go on,’’you lean against the armrest of the couch.

    ‘’You also see how he's with his dad, and it makes you question your place in his life. Strike two.’’

    ‘’Okay’’ you not, knowing that he’s right, even if you don’t wanna admit it.

    ‘’And strike three… I found that pregnancy test in the bathroom. The positive one.’’

[queenofnohr]

mind if im uhhhhhhhhhh sappy on main for a second here

i’m....... really really happy that i got re2make

i mean obviously im pleased bc its a good game and because of my boy but

honestly? i’m not even playing it myself (yet). tonight i just sat around with my dad while he played through leon’s A campaign. but it was like i was a kid again.....

even disregarding what instigated my love for RE - which was watching my dad play RE4 all night - I guess some of my best memories I have of my dad involve video games. recently I’ve been kind of..... somber, I guess, about the fact that even though my dad is getting better because of therapy, I don’t really have any way to bond with him. My brother and sister, they’re still young enough where their relationship with him didn’t become too damaged, and now he’s getting better, living in a way that’s more healthy for him. So they’re able to do stuff like golf with him and other various activities

and tbh...... i was jealous. I thought i’d never be able to be jealous of spending time with my dad, but i was. and even though he’s better now, I thought things between us were too broken to ever be able to have something to bond over, and that it was too late to learn - after all, the things my siblings do to bond with him (like, again, golf) are skills and knowledge they’ve been learning since they were little. so, I thought that it wasn’t possible

but..... I do have good memories. Maybe they aren’t recent. Maybe it’s not anything from The Dark Ages (so, 4th grade - sophomore year of college). but... I remember not being able to sleep when i was really little, maybe 5, cuz i was nauseous, and going downstairs and there my dad would be playing Ghost Recon, and I fell asleep hugging a bucket while watching him.

or, when i was in elementary school and my dad brought home a DS game for me on a whim after school - Trace Memory - just because he thought i might like it. I’d never heard of the game - I’ve still never heard anyone mention it IRL or even online - but honestly it’s..... something I hold dear to me? During the Dark Ages, i’d think about it once in a blue moon, and it would fill me with a deep rooted nostalgia and bittersweetness. and i’d wonder why because i barely remembered the story even though i did remember enjoying it..... it wasn’t until recently I made the connection - I missed having that sort of relationship with my dad.

and tonight i was able to get some of that back....... it just. feels nice is all. i’m...... really, really glad.

[iluvmyogblog]

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends

A/N: (also just a disclaimer, i find my gifs on google sometimes!) oh my gosh you guys, i am beyond happy with the feedback i’m receiving!! you wonderful souls truly rock! also, what you guys said about Sammy boy is pretty saucy. keep makin’ predictions. i promise the story with Sam WILL come up. oh and i’ll tag this series with “rrbf” and ik im posting back to back kinda but im just so anxious! 💗💗💗💗💗

Summary: (AU) being roommates with the infamous womanizer Bucky Barnes is tough, especially when all he does is bring home different girls every night and complain about you and your choice of men. masterlist.

Words: 2585

Warning(s): lango ? ugh bucky being terribly beautiful AND STEVE JUST UGH

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends : Day Dates - more like ALL day

Steve was extremely nervous to take you out. It had been so long since he went on a date. The last date he remembers going on was the one where his girlfriend of four years broke up with him. ‘I need to find my own thing, do my own thing. Be my own person,’ is what she told him. Steve was terrified. He didn’t know how dates worked anymore. For Christ’s sake, he asked you out on a day date. Are those even a thing? He had consulted Bucky about dating once. Bucky said day dates are weird and to not ever go on one for a first date - he said it meant that it was real, and the date-e would get a ‘serious relationship in the making’ vibe. Everyone knows that Bucky knows what he’s talking about. The guys basically a god when it comes to girls. And what does Steve do? Ask you out on a day date. 

You had texted Steve the address to the apartment the night before. That was before you knew that he knew Bucky. When he got the address, he was confused as hell. ‘Did Bucky move and not tell me?’ Sometimes, Bucky would do things without telling Steve. Of course Steve would feel left out but Bucky would always fill him in. So he figured he’d just ask Bucky about that later. He straightens out his collar and clears his throat. His palms felt sticky and his mouth felt dry. He had a rose in his hand. Just one. He really didn’t know how this whole date thing worked anymore. He was so out of the game. He blows out a breath.

“You got this, Steve. Just knock. Just knock,” he whispers to himself as he extends his hand out to knock on your front door. He shakes his head, “here goes nothing.” He knocks three times and steps back. He watches the door knob turn and pull open the door. He looks up and prepares himself to see you. His heart racing a thousand miles per second.

“Aw, is that for me, buddy,” Bucky says with a cheeky smile as he grabs the rose from Steve’s hand. Steve opens his mouth to talk but nothing comes out. He furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head up, staring down Bucky. Bucky sniffs the rose and stares back. “What?”

“Where’s- that rose is for (y/n).”

Bucky smirks and steps aside, letting Steve in. “Fun fact, (y/n) hates roses, she thinks they’re cliché. She’s getting ready,” he says as he closes the door and walks to the kitchen, “thirsty?”

Steve shakes his head and stuffs his hands in his pocket, looking around Bucky’s apartment. He notices decorative pillows on the sofa. A vase with sunflowers sitting on a desk in the hallway. “She um, she lives here.. with you?”

“Yessir. When she told me who she was going on a date with, I shitted myself. What a small world right,” Bucky shouts from the kitchen. Steve laughs softly, nodding as he walks over to the kitchen. He leans over the counter, crossing his arms while he does so. Bucky twists the cap to his water bottle and glances at his best friend. He walks over to him and copies his motions, opposite of him.

Steve glances at Bucky. He was still confused. He wondered if Bucky’s ever tried anything with you, if he’s done anything with you. He nods his head towards Bucky, “how long have you had a roommate?”

“Going on six months.”

“Is that why you never invited me over? Trying to keep her for yourself,” Steve teased, a little bit of truth behind his words though.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head. Although he rejected Steve’s notions, he kind of felt like thats exactly why he didn’t invite his best friend over anymore. He liked knowing that he would get to come home to your voice asking how his day was. And every time a girl laid her eyes on Steve, it’s like he’d disappear. The sounds of footsteps making their way to the kitchen made the guys’ head turn. You were wearing a sundress and wedges. Bucky had never seen you wear anything like that. He was so used to seeing you in sweats or his t-shirts - even your apron for work, never a dress and wedges. When he dragged you to that party, you were just wearing jeans and a fancy shirt. He said to go casual so you did. Looking at you, Bucky couldn’t think of anything prettier.

“(Y/n), you look... beautiful,” Steve says. He turns to Bucky and grabs the rose that was sitting in front of him. You blush, smiling as you tell him ‘hi’. He hands you the rose and smiles softly.

“She hates roses,” Bucky mumbles, staring at your smile. You and Steve brush off his comment.

“You ready,” Steve asks as he reaches for your hand. You nod and grab his hand. You glance at Bucky and give him a ‘oh my god’ look. Bucky chuckles softly and watches your happiness expressed on your face. Everything’s moving slow motion for him. Your hair was curled, and the way it moved when you turned to look at Steve made Bucky weak. He didn’t know what was going on. He wasn’t sure why he was looking at you the way he was.

“I’ll bring her back safe and sound,” Steve says as he waves bye to Bucky. Bucky peels his eyes off of you and nods to Steve. He sticks his hands in his pocket and walks behind you guys. Before you completely walk out the door, you turn and face Bucky. Steve lets go of your hand and waits for you outside of the door, leaning against the frame.

“Do I look okay,” you whisper to Bucky. He clenches his jaw and nods, giving you this look. You knit your eyebrows together, trying your very best to read him. This look was new. You had never seen it before. It almost looked like frustration, pain. But you didn’t know. You weren’t sure.

“You’re breathtaking, doll,” he whispers back. He clears his throat and pushes you out the door gently. “Have her back no later than eleven p.m, son.”

Steve chuckles and rolls his eyes, looking at his best friend. It was his turn to whisper to Bucky. Bucky leans against the door and smiles at his friend. Steve gives him a handshake and pats his shoulder. “Wish me luck.”

“A day date. What did I tell you about those?” Bucky shakes his head, laughing as he hugs Steve, patting him on the back. You watch them and roll your eyes playfully, mumbling ‘get a room’. Bucky glances at you with that stupid look again. You swallow the lump in your throat and look away. The two pull away. “It’s good seeing you, punk.”

“You too, jerk,” Steve says with a smirk. The three of you bid goodbye’s and see you later’s. Walking to Steve’s car was fun. There wasn’t awkward silence, not even on the way to the movie theater he was taking you. He bought you snacks, a huge bucket of popcorn. He even did that cliché thing where the both of you reached into the popcorn at the same time. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make the two of you bust out laughing. Of course, the two of you did not pay attention to the movie whatsoever. Making jokes and throwing food at each other was what the experience consisted of. After the movie, he took you out to eat sandwiches.

There was this place - amazing place. He had mentioned it to you while the two of you were strolling through the park, eating ice cream. You had never been and he was so shook. He practically pulled you to the place. He ordered you his favorite and watched you take your very first bite. You loved it. Safe to say, you liked him. You like him. Everything was so easy with him.

“I’ll take two beers,” Steve told the bartender. You peaked at your phone. 8 pm. You had left the apartment around noon. You glanced at Steve. He was leaning over the bar counter, waiting for the beers. You smile and look back down to your phone.

Need an out?

Wya?

(Y/n)?

Are you okay?

Send a heart if you’re not dead.

jk just send something.

You laugh and shake your head. Bucky was so extreme sometimes. “Here you go, gorgeous.” You turn your attention to Steve and grab the beer he slid towards you. He sits across from you and glances at your phone. You shrug.

“Bucky’s asking if i’m okay,” you say as you take a sip of your beer. Steve points towards your phone, you slide it to him and watch him take a selfie. You giggle as he turns the camera to you.

“Say hi to Buck. You look alive, are you alive?” You laugh and hide your face. You feel Steve’s hand pull yours away, exposing your red cheeks. You smile, showing your one dimple. That made Steve bite his lip, he loved it.

“Hi, Buck,” you said softly, “I’m alive. I’m okay. Don’t wait up for me tonight,” you said as you glanced back to Steve. He smirked and stopped recording, quickly sending the video to Bucky. 

A few drinks later, you and Steve were sharing stories. “So tell me, when was your last date?”

You sit up straight, your smile faintly fading as you try to recall your last date. “Um, I’d say about almost nine months ago? Maybe even ten,” you say with a dry chuckle. He leans in closer, you do the same. He gazes into your eyes, searching for the memory as if he can see you sitting somewhere across from another guy.

“How was it?”

“Terrible,” you say smiling. Even though it was terrible, it was still a memory of him. You hated him, but the memories of him were nice sometimes. “His name is Sam. I went to high school with him. Literally only dated him all those four years and even up to my sophomore year in college.” Steve nods slowly, listening to your every word. “I thought I was gonna marry him,” you said with a sad smile and shrugged.

“I almost thought I was gonna marry my last girlfriend too,” Steve says softly as he holds your gaze. You tilt your head and lean into him.

“What happened?” He shrugs and looks around the bar.

“She wanted to be independent. She didn’t want to rely on anyone-on me anymore,” he says weakly. You look at him and put your hand on top of his, gently squeezing.

“Let’s get married. I’ll rely on you... sometimes,” you say with a smirk, trying to lighten the gloomy mood. He looks at your hand and laughs. 

“I think I need Bucky’s blessing first.”

You laugh and shake your head, biting your lip. “Yeah, you might.”

Steve smiles and looks up at you. Your hand was still on his. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or if it was his eyes that made you spin. The perfect shade of blue. You were lost in them. All you wanted him to do was kiss you. You wanted him to lean over the table and grab your face and pull it to his. You weren’t that drunk. He wasn’t that drunk. He did wanna kiss you. He wanted to kiss you so badly but again, he was afraid he didn’t know how to anymore. And quite frankly, so were you. You hadn’t kissed any other guy but Sam. He was your world. Adjusting to doing things without him was hard. The idea of Steve was hard. You wanted it. You wanted to be with Steve. Especially after this date. You spent all day with him and didn’t think about Sam once, up until now of course. And the same for him. His ex girlfriend, Peggy, was clear out of his mind when he would hear your voice.

“I should get you home,” Steve mumbles. He doesn’t move. His eyes still stuck on yours.

“You should,” you mumble. You don’t move either. You were stuck. You didn’t ever want to look away from him. These feelings, they’re new to you. They’re new to him. 

“Let’s just stay here all night,” he says. You giggle and nod.

“Um, I’m sorry but we’re closing in five minutes,” a man says, causing you guys to turn to the source.

“Oh, like now?” Steve asks as he looks at the guy.

“Like in five minutes, sir,” he says monotone-ly. You snort and laugh, Steve looks at you and laughs too.

“Way to ruin the moment, dude,” he says as he gets up, leaving a few dollars for a tip. You scoot out of the booth and lean down, fixing your shoes as you laugh softly. The guy shrugs and watches the two of you lean into each other as y’all walk out of the bar. You pull out your phone. Two a.m. You gasp.

“Steve, take me home. James is probably having a panic attack,” you say through laughter. Steve glances at the time displayed on your phone.

“Shit, yeah lets get you home.”

“Wait,” you say as you turn to Steve. He stops and looks at you with a confused look. Even with wedges on, you’d have to tiptoe to reach his lips. So that’s what you do. You place your hands on his chest and tiptoe, closing your eyes as you softly place your lips on his. It doesn’t take long to feel Steve kissing you back, wrapping his arms around your waist, holding onto you tightly as he moves his lips against yours. You run your hands up his chest and rest your left hand on his neck while the other runs over his jawline and cheek, up to his hair. His hair was soft, it felt silky underneath your palms. He gently lifts you up, deepening the kiss. Your mind was consumed with the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around your body. The ends of your hair tickled his forearm as he set you back down on the ground. Your hands rested on his cheeks, the both of you slowly pulling away. You bite your lip and feel his grip loosen, his hands resting on your waist. You run your hands down to his biceps and keep them there. He clenches his jaw and smirks, scanning your face.

“Now I don’t want to take you back home,” he says with his gentle voice. You chuckle softly and look into his eyes.

“It’s our first date, mister,” you whisper. He smiles and kisses your cheek. He sighs and grabs your hands, intertwining your fingers with his. 

“First of many more,” he glances at you as he walks you back to his car. The two of you were taking all the time in the world. He adored you. He knew he wanted something special with you. He knew Sam screwed up, and he knew that Sam would give him shit if he knew who he was on a date with. The butterflies in your stomach came back as you felt Steve stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. How could anyone want to end things with Steve? He was perfect. It was a perfect day date turned night. Steve couldn’t be happier he went to that party. You couldn’t be happier. 

•••

Part 3.

if i forgot to tag you, plsplspls lmk!!!

woah, wait... so we don’t really know what Sam’s done yet.... it’ll be saucy ;)

what’s up with Bucky? How do y’all think he felt when he saw the video 😭

tag(s): @coal000 @goldenstateof @cherrywinedarling @justahappylilblog @faakelanadelrey @juicyqueenlme @ourdreamsrealized @boyzines @bornfortherainydays @fightmeandmy100fandoms @deadpoolgirl23 @bethanyv10 @ilovethings-somuch @spidey-linquentimagines @lilypalmer1987 @gravity-9-8 @vivianbabz @imeannooffensebabybut @queendade  @irepeldirt @petals-overdaisies @warishaadnan @sweetmockingbird @loki7ms @chickennacho1 @dakotacheyennee @starkxpotts @sighscassidyy @jellzu @krockszz @lowkeysebby @chuckennuggets1213 @wowbarnes @eccentric-impulses @dugan365 @frackinawesomeninja @cosmetologynerd @straight--on-til-morning @sophiealiice @barnes-and-noble-girl @satans-knitting-club @grosskyjaja @xunicornwhovianx @evetheplum @cravingmustard @raventt5-bb @dedicated-fangirl-forever @sarahp879 @fandomlover03 @bands-and-shietz @wintersoldierbarnes @keepyoureyesopenwide @brokenanxiety

[junker-town]

Sabrina Ionescu wants to inspire the next generation of women in sports

Photo by Dale Zanine/NBAE via Getty Images

A Q&A with Sabrina Ionescu on celebrity fans in Brooklyn, her health, and inspiring young girls to play sports.

Sabrina Ionescu came into the WNBA as one of the most highly-touted rookies in recent memory. But her first year didn’t exactly go according to plan, as the pandemic moved the New York Liberty from their new home at the Barclays Center to the WNBA bubble at IMG Academy in Bradenton, Fla.

Then, she suffered a grade 3 ankle sprain in the third of game of the season, ending her rookie campaign and requiring surgery. Her rehab has lasted into this season, and she’s still getting back to full strength in her sophomore year as she and the New York Liberty attempt to bounce back from the disappointment of 2020.

But off the court, Ionescu is thriving. She’s on State Farm commercials with Chris Paul, and she’s bringing NBA and pop culture stars to Liberty games in Brooklyn. Ionescu is also continuing her mission of inspiring the next generation to pursue athletic excellence, specifically young girls, which is why she is partnering with The DICK’s Foundation for its third tour of the Sports Matter Giving Truck.

The DICK’s Sporting Goods Foundation

The Sports Matter Giving Truck will be traveling the USA throughout July.

The truck is providing 15,000 pieces of sports equipment, including sports bras, at eight stops around the country. Ionescu and five other current and former athletes — Sam Mewis, Elena Delle Donne, Swin Cash, Amy Rodriguez and Arike Ogunbowale — have recorded video messages that are accessible by scanning QR codes on the truck.

Ionescu spoke with SB Nation over the phone about her new partnership as well as how she’s adapted to being a professional athlete and what to make of the Liberty’s season thus far.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.

SB Nation: Why is the Sports Matter Giving Truck important to you? Why did you want to be a part of it?

Sabrina Ionescu: I think there’s a lot of reasons, but obviously being in sports and I started playing at a really young age and so being able to see the differences growing up, you know, having brothers that played sports and you know, seeing the difference in equipment and in teams and participation of girls compared to the boys. I think that was a huge reason as to why I wanted to help and be a part of this initiative, to ultimately help empower young girls that are playing sports and starting sports. And hopefully with this they can find some positivity and maybe even a reason to continue playing the sport and not quit at a certain age like a lot of girls do.

SBN: What does it mean to you to be in this position where you can Inspire younger girls and know that your voice, your message means so much to them?

SI: It means everything, you know, we play for this reason and I play for this reason, and that’s to give back and find what I can do in my community and across the world. And so, this is obviously very important to me and using my platform and what I’m doing on the court to inspire young girls and young boys across the country. And so, I’m very honored and humbled to be able to partner with this foundation and the Sports Matter Giving Truck and be able to do something like this for female athletes.

SBN: Do you feel like your platform has gotten bigger since you started playing in New York? Or did you feel similarly when you were at Oregon?

SI: I think it’s definitely gotten bigger, you know, now I’m playing professional and out of college and so kind of expanding endorsement deals, endorsement opportunities, you know brand plans and management and all those kind of avenues that you’re not able to do in college. I think that definitely expands your platform at the professional level, and so, with that obviously comes great responsibility, which for me is not only handling my business on the court but doing everything that I can off the court to make an impact as well, and that’s what I plan to do with this as well.

SBN: I saw the other day that you mentioned that you’ve been getting some pretty decent crowds at Barclays Center when you guys play, and you mentioned that Russell Wilson, KD, Steve Nash, those guys coming to games, doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to you because they’re just your friends. But even if it’s not personally a big deal, do you kind of see the way that you’ve been impacting getting a bigger audience for the league as a whole?

SI: Yeah, for sure. This is our first year in Barclays, and so I don’t think anyone really knew what to expect, and I know I didn’t from playing in a bubble last year. So it was definitely exciting to just see people show up from all kind of backgrounds, whether it’s NBA players, former NBA players, coaches, little girls and boys that are in the stands, you know, with our jerseys and signs. And obviously a lot of people haven’t been to sporting events you know as much as we’d like with everything going on, and so I think it was kind of a little glimpse of what it will be in the future and what we’re building in New York and that is really something special. I know as an athlete I’ve definitely missed just being able to interact with the fans.

SBN: It’s been really great to see you back on the court this year, and I was curious, was most of your off-season this past year just devoted to rehab or did you feel like you got a chance to talk really work on your skills during this time off?

SI: Most of it was rehab and with that, of course, is new skills and working on your body and things that you don’t really do when you’re healthy. And so although, you know, I wasn’t able to do everything that I normally would have done in the offseason — I haven’t really ever had an offseason — it was still beneficial to the point of where I was working on my body, lifting, my nutrition, sleeping right, all the other things that are just as important. And so I do think that long-term in my career it could be a blessing.

SBN: Do you feel like that ankle injury is still affecting you at all on the court, like in terms of maybe getting past your initial defender? Or do you feel pretty comfortably recovered from last year?

SI: A little bit of both. You know, I’m healthy enough to play, honestly, that’s all that I’m thankful for and that matters. But of course, I mean there’s still things that I’m not comfortable doing yet or if I am, I don’t have enough repetitions doing them at a high level . And so I’m not anywhere near a hundred per month, so just grinding through that, figuring out ways to get better even if I can’t do certain things or and not at the speed of playing that I want to, but it’s all a blessing.

SBN: Where do you see yourself wanting to improve as the rest of the season progresses?

SI: Aside from getting healthier and being able to maintain that, I think in all aspects of the game. This is my first professional season and so being able to learn from my teammates, being able to learn from my coaches and a lot of the other teams that I’m playing has been really exciting, and kind of brings me back to my freshman year in college, where just everything is new. You’re getting to learn new players that you’re going up against, offensive tendencies, defensive tendencies, and so, all of that I’m not taking for granted and just I’m trying to be a sponge and learn as much as I can.

SBN: What do you feel like has been the toughest adjustment for you so far transitioning from college to professional?

SI: I think it’s hard to say because I’ve been injured this entire time, but I would say just the speed of the game and also the IQ. Everyone’s really smart, everyone’s better. Then you’re going up against players that have been in the league for 18, 19 years, and this is your first year, and so that experience that they have and just that veteran knowledge of everything that they’ve seen doesn’t go unnoticed, and it’s really nice to learn from a lot of those vets.

SBN: Yeah, it seems like it would be harder to immediately be able to manipulate a defense the way you did in college with your passing, compared to being in basically your rookie year in the W.

SI: Yeah.

SBN: The Liberty has been one of the really great stories of the season so far. Is there anything that you think that’s going on there in New York that we haven’t been talking about enough?

SI: No, I mean we listen obviously, we’re aware of the kind of questions we get asked of being in a rough patch, of losing games, or you know, whatnot, because I think everyone was so high on us starting off 5-1 (note: the Liberty are currently 8-9). But I still think, you know, a lot of people forget how new of a team we are and how young of a team we are. And I don’t think we’re in a rough patch. We’re not. We’re right where we want to be. We’re learning, you know we’re losing to teams that are number one in this league right now and have eight, nine veteran players on their team, have been together for a couple of years. So I think we’re not losing sight of that. We’re not letting how we practice and how we play and how our season goes be dictated by wins and losses, and what people think is a successful or unsuccessful season. And I do think that is important and not really losing sight of the controllables and just the growth that we’ve shown from last year to this year.

[avegetariancannibal]

“Boy With a Haunted Past” (part THREE)

The story so far: it's 1990, Hannibal and Will are 17 and 16 respectively, they've been on a date to a "haunted house" and Will's father has warned him to stay away from his new fella.

[ part 2 | 1 ]

Will woke up with his fingers pressed to his lips as if he were trying to hold in the sensation of his kisses with Hannibal. He smiled, realizing the space beneath his lower lip felt tender. He had stubble burn! He had stubble burn from kissing a boy who had stubble!

All too soon, the memory of his homecoming crept in, replacing his euphoria.

At once he was grumpy and fuming, and determined to avoid his father for the next... however long it took. Telling him to stay away from the first guy who liked him back, all over some weird rumor that undoubtedly had zero basis in reality? It was... it was unfair and wrong, and it had intruded on his reminiscence of the night before..

Luckily, his dad had already left for his weekend job by the time Will skulked out of his room.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number for Hannibal's host family.

A young boy answered. "You've reached the Froideveaux-Bloom residence." He sounded very practiced and formal.

"May I speak to Hannibal Lecter?" Will asked, trying to match the kid's formality.

"He just got back from his run!" the boy gushed, dropping his affected way of talking. "Did you know he can run thirty miles an hour?"

Will laughed before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to---it's just that's faster than humans can run."

"Hannibal can do anything," the boy sniffed.

"Can he talk on the phone, then?" Will asked.

"He's in the shower," the boy said. "Is this Will? If this is Will, he said I should tell you to come over any time even if he's in the shower, which is is right now."

Will barely blurted out his thanks before hanging up the phone and running out the door, spurred on by the mental imagine of Hannibal taking a shower.

He ran all the way over, nearly a mile-and-a-half, except for the last block so he could catch his breath and not look like a total weirdo.

The house was decorated for Halloween, but in a tasteful and pretty cheerful way. The scarecrows with their pumpkin heads smiled without menace, and wicker cats crouched as if playfully pouncing. It all looked pretty expensive, to Will's eye.

When he knocked on the door, Alana Bloom answered. She was a sophomore, too, but at least two social levels higher than him. They'd never hung out even though they had classes together. She leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, looking distinctly amused and knowing. It made him feel self-conscious and he didn’t know why. He looked away from her eyes.

"I-is Hannibal home?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, moving aside. "Come on in, Pink Cheeks."

Will's hand flew to his face. Was he blushing? Or was he still flushed from running? Probably both. Damn it.

"He's still getting ready," she said, waving him over to the living room.

Will frowned. "Getting ready for what?"

"For you," she said. He could tell she was rolling her eyes even though he hadn't looked at her again.

Will had to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep from grinning at that.

"You know," she said as they sat down, "my parents wanted to host a female student. They thought it'd be nice for me to have a ‘sister,’ even just for a year. I've got two brothers in college and now my stepbrother Frankie."

"Not Frankie!" A young boy's voice corrected her from somewhere up the stairs. "Franklyn!"

"Frankie," Alana said, raising her voice, "what did Hannibal tell you about eavesdropping?"

A moment later, a cherub-faced boy with a riot of dark hair came sulking down the stairs.

"He said it was rude," Franklyn sighed. "I apologize to you both."

He made a minute bow---the very same gesture Will had seen Hannibal make half a dozen times in classes. The kid obviously had an extreme case of hero worship and it was pretty cute.

"Apology accepted," Will said.

"As I was saying," Alana went on. "They were nervous about having some smooth European boy in the house with me, like he was gonna stamp his passport with my hymen or something, but it was clear from the start he had his eye on someone else."

Will's mouth was hanging open from her passport comment. All he could make was a vaguely idiotic noise.

"Oh, don't pretend you didn't know he’s liked you from the start," she said. "False modesty is so annoying. Your entire chin is covered in stubble burn."

"I-it's not false modesty!" Will protested, rubbing his chin. "I'm genuinely a moron!"

She laughed, and not cruelly. Will was kind of warming up to her.

"What's stubble burn?" Franklyn asked.

"It's when a boy likes you very much," Alana started, "and underestimates how quickly his facial hair grows."

Will was 100% certain he was going to combust, as it felt like his body temperature had more than doubled in an instant.

Luckily, Hannibal came downstairs at last. He was wearing a dark red henley, unbuttoned at the top to show a strand of honest-to-God chest hair. He drew up short on the last step as his eyes met Will's and his face lit up with the goofiest, most perfectly stupid grin of all time. Will found himself grinning back, unable to move, so struck he was by the vision of---

"Hello, Will."

"Hello, Hannibal."

"Oh my freaking God," Alana sighed.

Franklyn tried to bound over to Hannibal, but Alana grabbed his arm.

"Let go of me," fumed the boy.

"No, we're going to play video games," Alana told him. "And if you're good and leave Hannibal alone for a while, he'll make you a grilled cheese later. Isn't that right?'

"Completely right," Hannibal agreed. "With the fontina we like so much."

Franklyn gave a muffled squeal of delight.

Will didn't even remember getting out of his chair, but suddenly he was following Hannibal up the stairs.

"Interesting decor," Will said, looking around at the multiple Batman posters. "Never took you for a big movie fan."

Hannibal looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. "Oh! I'd all but forgotten those. They belong to Alana's brother. I'm just borrowing the room so I thought I'd do well to redecorate it in my mind only."

Will frowned. "In your mind? How does that work?"

Hannibal took hold of his hand. "Close your eyes."  Will couldn't stop staring at their interlaced fingers. Hannibal gave his hand a squeeze and said, "Close your eyes."

Will did as he was told.

"I suspect you have an abundance of empathy," Hannibal said beside him.

That made Will snort. "Too much, some people tell me."

"Don't listen to them," Hannibal said. "It's a sign of a powerful imagination. You can put yourself in other people's minds. All you have to do is put yourself in other... places."

"Is that what you do??" Will asked. "Like...imagine yourself back home in Lithuania?"

"Not there," Hannibal said. "But in my favorite museums. Sometimes instead of Michael's poster over the bed, I think of Leda and the Swan by Francois Boucher, or Botticelli's Primavera."

Will squeezed his eyes shut, trying to conjure something into his mind. "I...don't know what those look like."

"Just think of something you like," Hannibal said. "It doesn't have to be art. It can be a place, real or fictional. Let it come to you."

Will slowed his breathing. He let everything in the room be wiped away, as if by a sweeping eraser, even Hannibal. In place of the oversized posters and sports memorabilia, he let ferns sprout up. Willows unfurled their branches, letting them fall like curtains made of delicate green beads. A stream sprang up around his feet, rising until the water circled his thighs, cool and somewhat viscous with algae. He'd forgotten to imagine himself a pair of waders.

He laughed.

Hannibal materialized in the stream with him, still holding his hand. "Where are we?" he asked, smiling.

"My favorite fishing place in Louisiana," Will said. "The fishing actually wasn't very good, but it was... peaceful. I didn't have to think so much about everything."

"What made you laugh just then?"

"Oh, I forgot my waders," Will said. He tried to imagine them on, but it was too late. "I feel the water going up my legs and it... uh... tickles."

"Are you naked?" Hannibal asked in a low voice. "Am I naked with you?"

Will burst out laughing. "No! No, I'm wearing jeans. We're both wearing what we're wearing here, in real life. We're wearing the same things in my imagination."

"Ah well, maybe next time," Hannibal said with an exaggerated sigh.

Will shook himself free of the scenery he'd created in his mind until they were standing in the bedroom again.

"How did you know?" he asked. "About my empathy, I mean. I usually try to keep that under wraps."

"Little things," Hannibal said. "The subtle changes in your expression when someone said in class that nobody really knew why bad men did bad things. You understood."

Will remembered that day. They'd been speaking of scientists who committed horrible crimes against their fellow human beings in the pursuit of knowledge or fame. Will knew exactly why they'd done these things, because he could all too easily put himself in their minds. He'd felt ill afterwards.

"I-I don't excuse what they---"

"Of course not," Hannibal cut him off. "Empathy isn't sympathy, though many mistakenly use the words interchangeably."

"You got all that from my facial expressions in class?" Will asked.

Hannibal rubbed the palm of his hand with his thumb. "I think you underestimate just how closely I've been looking at you. At first because you're clearly beautiful and you caught my eye, but then because I wanted to know you and hoped I would see some sign that you wanted to know me, too."

Will had no idea what to say to any of that, so he grabbed Hannibal by the waist and pulled him in for a kiss.

(to be continued)